Happy Fourth of July

I am off to Michigan for the week to see my grandma. I can't wait to see her and some of my friends, but I'm not looking forward to J's emo teenaged attitude crap and being stuffed in a car with another child who becomes a bundle of nerves every time we go anywhere. She's 13 and stayed up half the night with the runs because we are going to see grandma, whom we see every year.

Oh. My. Goodnits.

I wonder what she'll be like when we go to Disney World. Woo hoo.

This year we travel with a pooch. This should be fun. Four kids, 16, 13, 12, and 6, plus a puppy. Did I mention that the husband has ADD, the 16 year old has ADHD and teen-itis, and the 13 year old has ADHD/Tourette Syndrome and a touch of OCD. (That means she'll look at the clock every 5 minutes, count every thing anyone eats, and touch everything four times.

It's a good thing I don't drink.

Have a great holiday weekend and thanks to all that have served this country.

I need a new camera badly, my current digital was dropped during a hail storm so half of the time the pictures are terrible. Sorry about the quality. I'll try to get some pictures of my trip and I leave you with two pictures of my two babies.

Our new baby is here

After waiting year before deciding to get a Boston, we ended up getting a male. A few weeks ago when I was at my friends for a yard sale we were having, J and LiL' J were helping with the pups. Both boys got attached to the same male. LiL' J wanted to name him Calvin after his best friend. Any time we think about getting a new pet, LiL' J wants to name him Calvin. His African Dwarf frog that died was named Calvin.

No more animals named Calvin please.

Logically, I started calling him Vinny instead. OK, maybe Vinny isn't such an obvious replacement for Calvin, but it made sense at the time. I really don't think I had planned on calling him Vinny forever, but it sort of stuck. My friend called about a week ago to say that a few people were calling about the puppies and she wanted to make sure she knew which male we wanted. I told her it was the one without the black spot on its penis. Now, before you think I'm a freak I have to tell you a story about LiL' J.

When we were at their house I caught LiL' J picking each puppy up ever so gently and examining its crotch. I was about to ask him if we needed to discuss the differences between girl parts and boy parts.

Me: "Squishy, what are you doing?"

Squishy: "I'm looking for my puppy."

Me: "Oh, well, um, why are you looking at their crotches though?"

Squishy: "Pecause I'm looking for the one without the black spot on its penis. That one's mine."

Me: "Ahhh, OK, I see. That makes sense."

So there you have it. We chose the boy without the black spot on its penis. I feel bad for puppies with black spots on their penis. They are picked last.

Look at these faces.



I can't tell which is more adorable. LiL' J has been counting down the days until "Vinny" was ready to come home. My friend called yesterday to ask if we wanted to pick the puppy up today, which is a bit earlier then we thought we'd get him. Of course we couldn't say no. His crate, bed, toys, and supplies have been waiting for a couple of weeks. Since we're leaving for Michigan the week of the 4th, it's good to have him home earlier to work on the house breaking.

Here's J, he's been as excited as everyone.



Here's the last two puppies.



The one with the collar is spoken for, the girl with the white tipped ears is still waiting for a home. That's the one the girls and I had originally wanted. I had a hard time not taking her home. She's just so sweet. She's the chubbiest of all and has the sweetest face. They all do, but she would have been a pampered baby girl around here. I think Vinny's personality is a great fit for us though and if we can only afford one, what can we do? We hae to do the best for the little guy we have!

We're all definately in puppy love now. It's shameful. We have joined the club of dog owners that unabashedly post pictures of their dog, talk about them like they are children, and parade them around to neighbors, friends, family, and anyone else that loves a puppy. Plus the dog is a good learning experience for the kids. I think we'll have some new inspiration for research. Ha! They are so gentle and careful and watch to make sure the cats don't bother him.

I have denied many things, but I've never said we weren't nerds.

Puppy Love

Some of you will remember that back in November my kids were trying as hard as they could to convince us to get a puppy. Not just any puppy, but a Boston Terrier from one of our best friends.

LiL' J was especially convincing with his big brown eyes just looking up at me with a hopeful look.

Back then we neither had the money or the time to house break a puppy in the winter. It's important to me to make sure everything is in place and I've seen how hard it can be to house break a puppy in freezing weather. Next to impossible.

Well, we still could probably put the money elsewhere, but that's true of everything. Here's a look at Nika's lastest litter. Tragically, two have died and two have needed stitches after being mauled. They think that Nika's one year old pup from another litter must have done it. Holly is a very sweet dog so the theory is she was probably trying to play with them or bring them to mom for attention.

Here's the remaining four and their mama, Nika.





We've never been "expecting" a four-legged baby before. We've always done rescues. This is exciting.

Sneaky Children Go High Tech

I left my email open and apparently my Mooch (12) is a sneaky little schemer. No can do, but nice try. Gotta give her kudos for seizing an opportunity though, having the guts to be so brazen, and being an assertive little thing. Now, I'll just have to make sure she doesn't turn into a hacker and get us all thrown into jail. Here is an email sent by "me" to my husband:

Subject : luv ya

I love you ! You know, Michelle is a very good girl, she's our best child, so i've been thinking,weshould get Michelle a Golden Ritriver!Think about it. But, we really really should!!!Well see you later!!i love you!! Bye!

Melissa

Foto Friday

Look at that cute mouse! I can't believe I found this picture after all these years. I took that about 10 year ago. That's my oldest daughter, Snoo, at Halloween. She's 13 now, and only about 5 inches shorter than me.

Have a great weekend! Tonight I get to dress up and eat free food at Milwaukee's Midwest Express Center.

Yucky Snacks

"Mom, you don't have to give me yucky snacks anymore. I've got fruit roll-ups now."

Thanks his dad, my wee little son now thinks fruit roll-ups indeed count as fruit. My husband is a Sabatier when it comes to these sorts of things. I tell the kids they need to eat fresh fruit and whole grain cereals and he lets them have cereal that amounts to nothing more then crunchy balls of sugar.

Whereas, I send the child to school with apples and peanut butter or cheese cubes and grapes, Dad lets them have candy disguised as fruit leather. Or better yet, he let’s them eat Pop-Tarts for breakfast because nothing starts your day better than something less nutritional than pie and nothing ends it better than MICBSWS or Migraine Induced Cranky Butt Sugar Withdrawal Syndrome. I think the stores are selling tablets for these now. Look for them right next to the Sunny D juice boxes. So this morning LiL' J informs me that I've been fired from snack duty for the time being. Tsk Tsk. I’m known for being brutally honest so why should I expect my children to be any different? Don’t count on a small child to tell you that you look fine in that dress when really it appears that you’re about to give birth to two Billy goats long after your youngest child has gone off to college. With children, truth happens. Unless of course, you inquire as to which of them has been wiping their booger on the bathroom wall, incidentally located right next to the toilet paper holder.

Since LiL' J (5) is my son, so I suppose his bluntness should be of no surprise, but it still stings a bit. I’m sending that boy of to school with a Superman lunch pack with a built in cape, light saber spoons, and a monster truck ice pack. Nevertheless, I've been sending him to school with "yucky" snacks. My feelings are intact. I've toughened up long ago. I had to when becoming a mother. Otherwise I'd have an emotional earthquake every time one of my children-- whom I've given every thing and devote all my blood, sweat and tears for--screams I HATE YOU and YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE because I ask them to stop doing cannon balls onto the couch. In case one should think he's just an ungrateful brat, take another look HERE Isn't he cute? The poor kid is asking me ways to be less "hamsome" so the girls will stop chasing him at recess.

Child Labor is Underrated

Sorry about the quality of pictures. My camera is dying and decides to choke at its own will. Santa is bringing me a digital slr... I can dream, can't I? Here's a boy who knows how to vacuum. Mama is proud, mama is very proud.

Happy Birthday Snoo

I can't believe that you are 13 already. The day you were born seems like so long ago, yet it doesn't seem real to me that you are 13 today. I know life hasn't always been that easy for you. I know life has been hard for you at times. Even in your short years.

You had trouble at birth and so many difficulties since then. You have come SO far, and you WILL go even further. Your journey has barely begun. Just remember that you are loved and no matter what, I'll always be right here for you. Be confident. Know that you have a spiritual force on your side and a family that loves you in spite of all, above all, and always and forever.

Happy Birthday Snoo!

Foto Friday

I took this shot at Fireman's Park in Richfield, Wisconsin.

I really love this picture. I can't wait to frame it. I look at this picture and his face; his expression, and I know he'll be forever young to me.

It's Official, I'm a..

Homeschooling mom. Yep, you read that right. Melissa, the woman who loves to send her kids out of the house is now a homeschooling mom of a 9th grader.

Oh, dear God, what am I getting myself in to? I just sent off the form to the Wisconsin Department of Education. We're on our way through a journey that I never really thought I'd take. I've always liked the idea of homeschooling. I just was never up to the reality of it. I've contemplated it a few times, especially when my son was in 5th grade and begged me to.

J: Please mom, please! I have way too much homework, I can't do this.

Certainly a child's disdain for homework isn't a good reason to homeschool, right? We kept him in the private school that he attended from 4th grade through one month of 8th. Last year he tried public school for the first time since 3rd grade. It was a nightmare. The math that our school distract uses is obviously meant for extraterrestrials. J's vocabulary and reading abilities have been college level since 7th grade. However, he's always struggled with math, organization and study skills. He has ADHD and depression and he excels in some areas to the point of being advanced, and yet he remains almost remedial in math. I won't go into why he isn't in the private school anymore at this point, I just know that a traditional school isn't working for him.

He's bored, uninspired and frustrated.

My number one complaint is that he's not learning how to learn. He's not being taught how to take ownership over his own learning. This concept of spiral learning is bunk. Read, memorize, test, forget. That's about what it boils down to. Last night he took two candles from Mooch's birthday cake to experiment.

J: Mom, I've always wanted to know, why is it, that when I join two candles together the flame gets larger and larger. What is the scientific reasoning for that?

Me: Let's look it up tomorrow and then you can read about it as much as you want.

That's what I want to see. I want to see kids be able to really master a concept. To seek out the answers to their questions. Some of history's most renown scientists and inventors were homeschoolers and self taught learners. I don't know if this is something we'll do until graduation or not. I just know for now, he needs to get back to the basics in the areas that he's weak in, gain confidence, and discover that he's capable of learning how to learn. He can teach himself just as easily as any teacher at school.

So far, there have been frustrations. With his ADHD, he's sometimes very unmotivated and prone to distraction easily. He's also figuring out that I mean business. When I say something needs to be done, it had better get done. I don't care if he chooses to do math or language arts first, just so long as it gets done. Complaining, grumbling, and tantrums will not be allowed in my classroom!

I don't plan on turning my personal space into a homeschooling blog, but seeing as though I now am homeschooling one of my four kids, I guess I might as well out myself.

Here's J. He has this idea that many homeschoolers are dorks with their pants up to their nipples. He'd like to change that misconception and thinks of himself as the boy that's going to do it. So, this is the face of a high school aged homeschooler.



Wish me luck. God only knows I need some help. Miracles, patience and fairy dust accepted.

Can you guess?

Can you guess what Jake was trying to type? Be a peach and help a mom out. Richard took Jake (5) to work with him. Jake gets to sit at his own computer and "surf elmo dot com" or type his "business".

Richard sent me an email with Jake's "work" attached. At first it looks a bit like nothing but look closer. I was just going to go, aww, look he's trying to type letters, how cute. Then I realized he really did type something. Can you see it?

Now, don't go be a cheater and look at the comments. Can you figure it out? Now if you can figure out the first part please let me know, I still haven't cracked the code there. I'll ask him for hints later but of course, I don't want to hurt his feelings by not knowing what the whole thing says. What kind of mother would I be if I commented that his elephant picture was the best looking submarine I had ever seen? Not that I've done that either.

typefkofgkgijifrifur

lkfjdjdwejeje3wnfeeejfirkff

tnagmutinnigrtrtrzr

tenagmiutinmutintrtrz

Dare I say that's a wickedly good try for a new Kindergartener. Don't you think?

Unlikely Entertainment

LiL J's new favorite TV fix is The Weather Channel. Nevermind the Justice League or Little Bear. Somehow, while clicking through his animated options, he found TWC. Never teach your child how to use the remote. Don't even let them see you using it, because their minds are far more adept to mastering electronic devices and before you know it, they will have taken over.

Today he's been watching for a full twenty minutes. First it was fascinating to him that he could see all the states on screen with brightly colored borders and whirly-woos. You see, my five year old son is obsessed with geography lately. LiL J has never known a time when live TV couldn't be pasued or re-wound. This means we get to see the same thing over and over which is really a must for any human being under age seven. And a personal passion for any human being under age three.

"Look!! This is where we live mom! That's our weather happening above us."

He rewinds indefinitely if they show any action over Wisconsin, Minnesota, Texas, California and Michigan. Those are his favorite states and he knows where they are like the back of his hand.

It was very cute at first but after watching the same twenty second clip of 'possible' rain clouds going over Wisconsin, again and again, I'm ready to watch anything else, even Barney. Weather forecasters lie. Barney's just a bad singer.

Then he notices the Rita reports so he asks me if a hurricane is a tornado in the water. He's a genius.

When he sees the simulated image of Rita heading for Texas he gasps and his face shows panic.

"Mom!! That's Texas. They said the hurricane is going to Texas! Oh no, grandpa is doing to die!!"

"No honey, he's too far away from the hurricane. He's near Austin."

Still pausing TWC and pointing to the map, "where in Texas is Austin?"

After I explain the distance to him and calm his fears I realize he's NOT going to change the channel anytime soon. At five years old, he's totally into geography land weather and the only thing that will pry him away from TWC is a 100 piece puzzle of the United States which he insists I help him with. I then have to tell him what each one is and answer the same question every single time.

Do we know anyone there?

With three older children idling their engines in slackerville, I am overjoyed that he loves to learn new things and asks us about the world he lives in. Have you watched the weather channel for hours a day over and over though. It's not natural. I'd rather be picking dried play-doh out of the carpet. And truth be told, he asks big questions and big questions by little people are hard to answer . The answer only leads to more questions. So I am forced to employ The Husband's tried and true response to the evitable, "but why?"

Because the sky is blue. That's why.

1st Day of Kindergarten

His little eyes popped open 20 minutes before he needed to be up.

Is it time for school mama? Do I need to get dressed?

Me: Sure, you can get ready if you want.

He got up, pulled on his pants and decided to wear his Gymboree shirt over his white t-shirt. Not only did he get dressed in just under a minute but he put his socks and shoes on right away.

LiL' J: OK, mama, let's go. I'm ready!

Me: But little man, you haven't even eaten yet and you still have about an hour before school started.

LiL' J: But I'm not hungry mama. Let's go, I don't want to be late. I'm all ready. Don't I look handsome?

My littlest one is a kindergartener and he's more then excited about it. He had no fears. Just total excitement and eagerness. He couldn't wait to go. It was almost impossible to convince him to hang out and relax. I think if my stalling hadn't worked we would have been waiting in front of the school for about 45 minutes until everyone showed up. This year since there was 11 new K4 students, the helper that LiL' adored is teaching K4 and the regular K5 teacher is back doing her thing. He'll miss Mrs. L but he has a new helper he'll become fast friends with.

There are 16 kids this year and THREE Jake's . Not Jacobs, but Jake's. Yes, that poor teacher. On the very first day the teacher asked another student to give Jake a pencil. He brought it to my LiL' J and it was then I think the teacher realized what she was in for. One more day and I've got 3 1/2 KID FREE hours.

A First Sleepover

How can I say no to LiL' J when he's asked so nicely if the neighbor boy can spend the night?

Even though I have serious doubts that at five he's truly ready for his first sleepover.

Even though I have a peculiar rule of limiting friendships with neighbor's children.

Even though LiL' J is still regularly sleeping in our bed.

Even though this boy is eight and is probably over here in large part because of LiL' J's cool toys, gamecube and big brother's xbox.

LiL' J has watched his brothers friends stay the night over and over. He's watched his sister's friends stay the night over and over. He's watched them all leave for sleepovers and he's begged to go with them.

He's wanted so badly to be a part of sleepovers that when their friends are over he hangs out with them until I hear, MmmOmmm, come get Squishy, he's bothering us.

So, now it's LiL' J's turn. I finally gave in. I figured, what could go wrong? who am I kidding, a million and one things could go wrong The boy asked me, What do I do if I want to go to my house? And how long do you stay up?

Hmm, do I smell trouble?

To prove that he could be a good host he brought out a bowl of green grapes to snack on. He set aside Batman spegettios for the both of them. LiL' J never shares his Batman spegettios.

He makes me "beautiful wunches" He's persuasive. He's charming. He's so darned cute.

All that aside, how could I say no to this sweet face?

I love getting to witness all these firsts. All except a few and I wont even think about those right now.

I'm still not used to how fast they all come. How did my baby Squishy get to be a five year old asking for sleepovers, already?

It's 2am, where are your kids?

There's one of mine. Wish I could say I was doing the same. Nope, instead I'm awake. As you can see, since I'm blogging at an ungodly hour. What is really ungodly about it I don't know, but I didn't make up that phrase so just let me babble.

Why I'm awake at 2am is beyond me, but I apparently have these fits of insomnia for no good reason.

Things I haven't partaken which might keep me awake at 2am.

1. Crack
2. Coffee
3. Crime

So why can't I sleep like a baby?

A boy and his cat

We're back, and be assured I'll have an update about my fun yet crazy a** trip. In the mean time, here are pics of Lil' J and his cat. He misses his buddy when we leave. Can you see how he loves that little fur bag? That is the only reason we don't find this cat a new home, even though he pees all over the place, and then digs into the trash so he can throw it up everywhere.

When I try to bribe Lil' J to give him up for a little dog, nope, he won't hear of it. A boy and his cat, such is unconditional love. It's always that way when they (the kids) aren't the ones cleaning up the mess.

(right click to open in new window for a bigger view)

LiL' J in Disquise

Naturally something would have to happen before we came home from Michigan. LiL' J and the mesquitos don't get along too well. This is the second time they've attacked his eye.

On the way home he wore his celebrity get up. He didn't want anyone to gasp, oh my gosh, what happened to that poor kid recognize him so he's sporting his hat and sunglasses.

I guess he's a little camera shy self conscious.

Best Dad or Best Schmoozer?

Awww, isn't that sweet. Out of no where, the kids want to
share how much they appreciate their dad. He's #1. Mooch made this for him. There' s some sort googly-eyed creature included. As you know, it's not father's day.

Could this sudden expression of love have anything to do with Christmas coming up? It's amazing how quickly children who often behave like spawns of the devil can suddenly seem like the sweet little angels their out-of-state grandparents believe them to be.

When they want something "You're the best ever!"

If Christmas weren't 3 weeks away, this wouldn't be so suspcious, but nevertheless I do declare my children are the cutest and the sweeetest ever. And apparently the smartest.

I give her an A for creativity a genius strategy.

Boys and their... Dollhouses?

Who says boys shouldn't play with dollhouses? Yes, I know what it looks like. In one of the pictures it appears as though the T-Rex is humping poor Cookie monster, or as Snoo used to call him, Oodie Odder, but I can assure you it's just a friendly hu and this is a G-rated site. He's giving Big Bird a kiss on the cheek in the third picture which proves T-Rex is a lover and not a fighter all after. Either that or he's eating off Big Bird's face but Jakey's expression is just too sweet to concede to that theory.

Snoo had this toy when she was little, only she made sure to scratch all the eyes off of every character. They were staring at her and she didn't like that.

I found this house at a yard sale and swooped it up for old time's sake. As you can see Jakey bee quite enjoys the Sesame Street house so long as dinosaurs can chill with the baby puppets. It started off really friendly, he was just checking Big Bird out at first. Then T-Rex came into the picture. Sometime's he gives hugs and kisses and other times I hear a big ROAR and it appears he's stompng them to death. In the second picture, I'm certain the dinosaur is bowing in reverence to King Big Bird. What dinosaur wouldn't? It's not every day that you meet a ten foot tall yellow bird that sings and talks. Unless you went to Woodstock.

Mommy Money Bags

Just call me Mommy Money Bags. Kids have a way of sucking you dry. And I'm not just talking about the ones that refuse to wean. Take for instance, grocery shopping. Everyone knows that you'll leave with at least $10 in tooth destroying goodies or junk just because you don't want to deal with the sad eyes or worse, full blown tantrums. Since my kids are perfect angels, and I'm totally full of crap in saying so but I'll try anyways I never feel pressured into buying a box of cereal that tastes like sugar coated cardboard just because they are shaped like Winnie the Pooh. I but them because they’re on sale and I have a coupon. That’s right.

However, as of this week it's unsafe for me to visit the farmers market anymore unless I leave the little man at home. You see, there's this lady there that sells tacky lawn ornaments. You know what I'm talking about. We've all seen the nice little old lady on the block that decides she's going to display an unholy combination of Looney Toon characters, kissing Holly Hobbies, and freaky little animals. The lady is quite talented at this unusual form of art, but she's pushy and loud. I almost like her. Recently she decided to create a wooden Barney for the yard. Who the hell would ever want Barney in their yard anyways!?

Nobody, that's who.

Unless you're a mom of a toddler. I'm sure it was her sinister plan to make the purple dinosaur so all the little two year olds will beg mommy to buy a ginormous Barney figurine when all we wanted to do was pick-up the sugar snap peas of the season. Unless it doesn’t sing. Good God for that. I'm disgusted with the clever old hag, but I got to give it to her. It worked. My little toddler decided to run off like a bolt of lightning with his eagle eyes fixed on what he knows just has to be his new favorite friend. He picked it right up out of the ground and ran off with it. At first I was impressed by his speed, strength and his determination. After all, he’s adorable. I humored him by letting him walking around to show passerby’s his best buddy and then I helped him put it back into the ground.

It was futile. He jets back, grabs the thing, and off he goes with it. It has a six inch bar hanging of its foot. Two year olds are fast and clever. I’d put it back, we’d start walking away and since my hands were full heavy produce, he’d dart right away from me and get Barney out of the ground lickety split. The woman was of no help. He was a potential customer and I was his wallet. We did this like four times. It was out of the ground before I even got to him. I now curse the vendors that set up near this woman. This went on for about ten minutes before that little lip began to quiver and his big brown eyes welled up with tears. Then I think I saw fangs.

Oh the frustration, to be only two feet tall and broke and within reach of a talking animal. You've got people ten times your size always telling you no and then dragging you away.

At the risk of losing a finger and totally embarrassing myself even further as I run around with bags of vegetables, a giant wooden Barney and a toddler yelling, "I want Barney!", I gave in and bought the dumb thing. Ten dollars! Ten freaking dollars for something she knows full well nobody in their right mind would put into their yard. Did I mention it has a metal rod sticking of if its foot and Jakey thinks its a TOY? Thank God it's removable or I’d never forgive myself if he poked his eye out with a stupid lawn ornament that I never should have bought in the first place.

He's so happy though. He thinks he's got his favorite little buddy in the house. He carries that stupid thing everywhere and it's quite big. Superman’s convinced that he's going to hurt himself with it and he constantly questions my judgment in ever buying the thing. I told him he’s welcome to take it away and do the shopping next time. Oh, and the hat was not included. That was Jakey Bee's idea because” mama says you hafta wear hats in the sun.”