First Snow

For all of you scrooges out there, so stressed by holiday fanfare, desensitized by retailers playing the same Christmas songs over and over, stale cookies, greedy kids, and the oh-my-God-it's-two-days-before-Christmas-and-I'm-no-where-near-ready panic, these pictures are for you.

If going out into the slippery cold is the only price I have to pay to see the joy on a boys face over the snowflakes, then I'll leave my warm house any time. Merry Christmas everyone!



Do you think he's bundled up enough? Thank God he's still in diapers, otherwise the second I buttoned this gear up he'd be whining, "I have to go pee now."









Wow, the boy really does have a mother.

The Truth

You know those women that seem to always have it together? You know who I'm talking. Theit baby bags are always perfectly stocked and organized. They never have stains on their clothes, their child's nose never runs, their house must be immaculate, and they bake three times a week.

Well here's the reality I am sure.



Their children play among clutter. What, you mean it isn't normal to have ornament boxes all over the floor? Their carpet has stains, but really it just looks dirtier then it is. There are piles of paper and clothes everywhere. Their baby refuses to keep clothes on in the middle of December, and quite often a matching pair of socks is impossible to find. See, don't you feel better? You're not alone.

Of course, I have NO idea who these kids are. In fact, my house is perfect, I have a loaf of banana bread in the oven, and I just got done stocking my Amy Cole baby bag.

What's that I hear... you mock me?

Help Wanted

I am thinking of putting an ad in the paper.

HELP WANTED

Mother seeking a legal and safe solution to the prevention of the baby's early walking. If anyone knows of a safe supplement for breast milk that keeps babies from being able to stand up and take steps before mom is officially ready to admit baby is fast approaching toddlerhood, please call 555-1212 as soon as possible. Also, while you're at it, if anyone has ideas on how to keep their blasted shoes on, I'll give you free cheerios for a year! I've tried finding a use for stray baby shoes, but to no avail. Due to the high cost of replenishing shoes, socks, and hats, the mother might be unable to compensate. Please consider payment in the form of breast pads. (they make great coasters) I look forward to hearing from you soon.



Picture of the culprit. Note the missing shoe. Have mercy on me.