May 27, 2005

I'm outta here...

Going off to Michigan for the weekend. Grandma called & apparently there's yard work for us to do. Wooo hooo. It's always good to see her though.

I *promise* to uploads lots of pictures on Tuesday to flickr. I'm so behind it's pathetic.

Oh, and if any of you are so inclined, you can send me a canon digital rebel slr my way. Just in case you have an extra laying around.

I so want that camera.

At Mooch's concert last the lady behind me had one. I asked her questions about it. I drooled. Then I contemplated snatching it & running off. But that wouldn't be nice. Or legal. Plus I would have totally embarrassed my husband and kids.

Have a great weekend.


May 26, 2005

So you're divorced?

Well then I guess you might be doomed. At least according to some churches, pastors & christians you are. Sigh. I so don't want to go there, but you know I will.

For those of you that don't know me well, let me start off by saying that I'm not divorced or married to a divorced person. I am married to my high school sweetheart, and many a time the D word has been brought up. We've had some major obstacles, but to God be the glory we're still here. Still in love.

A few years ago, I was going to take some classes at a
Christian college. I knew the type of classes I wanted to take were typically full of men. Some asked, wouldn't you rather take music, teaching, or domestic classes? No. I wanted to study eschatology, Hebrew, Greek, and apologetics.

What made me decide not to take classes there, was their policy on
divorce. They wouldn't even admit a divorced student, or a student married to a divorced person. I was a appalled. Disgusted was more like it.

You see, my grandmother-in-law is an extremely godly woman, who loves the Lord with all her heart & soul. She got married very young to a man who really wasn't who he said he was at all. He'd take off for days or weeks on end. He became a drug addict & rumor has it, he was actually gay. He tried to prevent her from staying close to her family & ended up abandoning her & their baby. (my husband's dad)

She was devastated. Ashamed. Scared. Alone. How could she have been so dumb? So blind? So unwanted? How could she ever face her family, being the only one in her family to get divorced. At such a young age even.

Fortunately, her family welcomed her with open arms, and showed her the love of Christ. Her family prayed for her & helped her through all the emotional wreckage. She was not damaged goods they told her. She picked herself up & got busy making a life for her son. She worked & went to school. She met a godly man that loved her & her son without end. She prayed about it & got remarried. He adopted her son. Her ex husband later 'choked on a piece of steak.' Family said it was more like a drug overdose.

She worked very hard to get a masters degree in elementary education. I have rarely met a woman I respect more then her. But, she would not be fit to study at that college. Nope.

Even though the college undoubtebly is full of
liars, adulterers, fornicaters, thieves, cheaters, murderers, deceivers, and so forth. Yet, a divorced person isn't allowed a Christian education? Of studying God's word in a academic setting? Yet, we hear so often all the things wrong with secular colleges & why a Christian should beware.

Sweet Jesus, what is wrong with us? Are we loving people to Christ? Or driving them away by our
hyprocrisy? Are we building each other up? Or pushing them away by inflicting shame or guilt.

Our church is voting to add to provisions on moral issues to our Church's
Articles of Faith.

"We believe that all the saved should live in such a manner as not to bring reproach upon their Savior and Lord; and should abstain from sinful pleasures by walking in obedience to the Scriptures." (Romans 12:1-2, 14:13, 1 Cor 6:9-10; 2 Cor 6:14-7:1, 10:5; Gal 5:16, 1 Thess 4:1-12, 1 John 2:15-17)

I agree with all that. I think one of those verses is very vague though? Anyone catch which one I'm talking about? What I want to know is whose going to determine what's a sinful pleasure? God or man?

I'm not sure why the deacons are recommending to add provisions. I'd like to know why though. I need some answers.

Do they think we don't know what God desires? I have to wonder, does it have anything to do with our pastor refusing to marry a young couple last year? A daughter of a family that is very involved at our church. They are a family of 12. Part of our church's patriarchs. They've been there longer then both our pastors put together.

This family in our church had many children. Then some of their kids had many children. So on and so forth. It took me more then a year to figure out that practically half (at least it seemed that way) of our church is either related by blood or marriage. They are the worker bees in our church. The Sunday school teachers, AWANA leaders, organizers, and members of the social committees.

One of the daughters was set to get married. Everything was ready. Until the groom professed he had once been married. His fiance knew & they had worked it out. He wasn't saved until a few years ago, it was a foolish mistake (he married not for love, but to help a friend get some sort of benefits for service, it was vague) and he wanted to be right with her family & the pastor.
He didn't want to hide it from the pastor, knowing it was deceptive. He took a big risk, but to him, being a man of honesty & honor was far more important. Something that might not have been true before.

The family wasn't tickled pink, but they knew that was before Christ, and they weren't to judge. There was a whole schism over this. Some of their own family were torn over it. The Pastor refused to marry them, or allow them to be married in the church. He wouldn't even acknowledge it. They found a different pastor to perform the ceremony in a park. They then ended up leaving the church.

Then around that time, another couple left. They are very missed & were such a blessing to have in the Church. She was divorced, & remarried. She had a daughter previous & they had two sons together. She knew her husband wouldn't be able to apply as deacon, but to be told their marriage wasn't even recognized was enough to make them leave. I don't know the full story with that family as we had left temporarily for our own reasons. I just know it was a shame.

This is what the notification says:

"We believe that God ordained marriage as the union between one man and one woman exclusively. In obedience to Scripture, we believe that this church, its pastors, deacons, and its members shall not sanction, perform or recognize any other union. We believe that any other union is sinful and those participating in any other union are disobeying Scripture and shall be subject to church discipline." (Gen 1:27-28, 2:22-24, 19: 5, 13; Lev 18:1-30; Matt 19:5,6, Eph 5:29-31, Rom 1:21-32; Hebrews 13:4)

Even members shall not recognize their marriages? Who am I to say? (Although, I'm not a member for other reasons, but R is) So what, are the members that have been saved--by grace through
faith-- after a divorce & remarriage supposed to divorce again to make it right? Or separate but stay married forever, and dismantle their current family? What are they supposed to do?

I'm not sure what they're meaning by this, but I have to ask the pastors & deacons because it's driving me nuts. I know divorce is wrong & why it is. I know that there is too much divorce, including from Christians. I know most people give up on their marriages too soon.

But I think we have to be very careful how we conduct ourselves to our brothers & sisters in Christ, should we cause them to stumble. Do we really want to alienate divorced persons? Why not any other group of 'sinners'?

It continues:

"We believe that God hates divorce and intends marriage to last until one of the spouses dies. Divorce and remarriage is regarded as adultery except on grounds of fornication. Although divorced and remarried persons or divorced persons may hold positions of service in the church and be greatly used of God for Christian service, they may not be considered for the offices of pastor or deacon."(Malachi 2:14-17, Matt 19:3-12; Romans 7:1-3; 1 Tim 3:2, 12; Titus

According to Jesus, everyone commits adultery in their heart if they look upon another with lust, so wouldn't that mean we are all adulterers & fornicaters? So either everyone can justify their divorce by saying the other commits mental & emotional adultery, or we have to accept we are all still sinners, falling short of the glory of God, and ask for humility lest we judge others too harshly. Or at all.

I fear we are going to lose more families just by the wording alone. I fear we are going to put off families when they come seeking & searching only to find a place that wants to brand them with a 'D'.

I fear we are going to become a church that has amnesia. We might forget who we all were before Christ. (1 cor 6:9-10)

May 25, 2005

Sometimes I hide...

...from things that I know I shouldn't think or feel. Things I don't want to admit outloud. Things I don't want to remember. Things I don't understand.

I'm always watching. Listening. Remembering. Processing. Yet, I am often so quiet in 'real' life. When I was a girl, they'd ask if I ever talked. I did, just not with words. Sometimes they'd joke, well, if she trusts you, she'll talk, talk, and talk. IF.

There's things I have to say, and sometimes I'll say them. Even with this blog, I'll take my turn standing on the soapbox. I'll share my life, my opinions, my muses, or nothing worthy at all. Even so, I know I'm still holding back. I hate that, but it's true. Why do I? Fear? Indifference?

But I don't want this to be about any one thing. It's not just about my faith, my kids, my family, my thoughts. What is it then? I'm not sure. Sometimes though, when I'm publishing a post, I'll hear a little whisper in my soul.... "say it". Say it outloud. There's so much hidden, so much unsaid, so much I'd rather forget. What would I say?

File this post, under "weird moods".


Maybe I'm not an Evangelical after all?

(This was posted originally on 5/20 & is a sticky post now, I'll reply to comments as I get the chance. :o)

Lately, I've been learning the differences in the Christian denominations of my online girlfriends. I've even explained why I don't think the Christian & Mormon God are the same. I'm classifed as born again, and would be considered the "fundie" as I think I take the Bible the most literal of these friends.

Yet even still, my request to join
Women4God blogs was not accepted. Here's the response I was given a few months back. "We have received your application for Women4God Blogs. Unfortunately we are unable to approve your application at this time. God bless you." -Women4God Blogs

Since I am a woman for God, and an Evangelical I figured I'd qualify. I guess not. Its funny because recently a friend of mine, that doesn't quite share my spiritual beliefs, accurately points out that I'm a 'born again' type, and rather strongly committed to traditional Christianity on the fundamentals. One could try and label me as a
woman with dispensational doctrinal views, so therefore theoretcially I should fit into the category. Nope.

Somehow, one can find me too evangelical, and another says I'm not enough. It goes to show you can't please everyone, and nor should you try. My feelings aren't hurt, but since I wasn't given a reason I can only guess as to why my qualifications as an American Evangelical
woman are substandard.

In no way do I mean to offend, just poking some fun at myself. These are some of the stereotypes things others have thought I should do or believe. Or what I've been judged by.

You can consider yourself 'tagged', so please reply here or on your blog about why you're not a "proper" -insert label- when compared to stereotypes.

Although I did vote for Dubya, I don't consider him to be my Christian role model
I do not have a "The road to hell is paved with liberals" bumper sticker on my car
I let my kids go trick-or-treating at
Halloween & passed out candy (and Bible tracts)
I don't think 'unbelievers' are Democrats. Actually I might be a republocrat
I do not hang an American flag outside my home, nor would I
properly know how to
I don't listen to
Rush or conservative talk radio
I have never read a
Max Lucado book
I don't think
Christian contemporary is imitating satanic rock music
I quit reading the
Left Behind series after book 3
I read the
Prayer of Jabez after a relative gave it to me, but never practiced it ritually
I don't think
Jerry Falwell should be allowed to speak on behalf of the Church
I typically dislike Christian TV, except for
Zola Levitt, Dr. Whitcomb & Adrian Rogers
I don't think that only traditional hymns should be allowed in worship nor do I see how singing Shout to the Lord at Easter is radical modernism (some at my church did)
I don't think my girls should only be allowed to wear dresses with collars the size of dinner plates
I don't think if my son wants to grow his hair past his ears he's a rebel
I sometimes wear pants to
I have never picketed an abortion clinic
I've never
boycotted Disney
I don't think listening to some secular music or watching TV makes me a lover of the world
I had no idea who
Elizabeth Elliot was until recently
I do not own a
Thomas Kindcaid painting
My idea of a women's Bible study does not consist of discussing pagan conspiracy theories directed towards my children
I don't think Ezzo is fit to write parenting books or claim its 'godly' parenting (either do
these folks)
I didn't notice
Spongebob Squarepants was gay
I occasionally drink a beer or wine cooler
I watch
American Idol without worrying that I'm secretly being programmed to idol worship
My husband has tattoos & I have a body piercing
I don't think animals were created for me to eat
I don't see how
oral sex can be considered sodomy
I know the
Sabbath wasn't changed to Sunday, but I don't "keep" Sunday as a Sabbath either
I have cable TV
I don't think
Tony Blair is the antichrist
Although I see key doctrinal differences between the the Catholic Church & Evangelicals I don't believe the Catholic Church is the "woman riding the beast" or all Catholics are 'lost'
I love to dance, including belly-dancing

I don't believe God only loves christians

So there goes, but I have a feeling this list will be growing.

TP mystery solved

Too much?
Originally uploaded by Melissa in Butterfly Bliss.
After yesterdays drama about diapers, and the Zen & Joy of diapering that some of us apparently are missing out on, I remembered this picture I shot of Squishy when he was potty training.

Potty training. Just those two words alone make some parents whince. Some of us, jump and shout with glee at the prospect of not changing diapers anymore. Yet, potty training comes with its own issues.

Take for instance, vanishing toilet paper, which is always closely followed by clogged toilets. You see, for a two year old, it is perfectly logical to use a whole roll to wipe a bottom even if it never made "poo-pees"

Flushing anything in site is also a favorite. Ask my plumber.

What fun. What hysteria. What a headache. Ah, but the memories.

May 24, 2005

Fighting over diapers?

Recently I was reading this blog when I noticed her post about 'poop bags'.

Do you cloth diaper? If so, why? Why do you choose not to cloth diaper?

Does it really matter? In general, is one really better over the other?

If you AP, does that mean you're more likely to cloth diaper?

I have to say, I never felt looked down upon for using disposables, nor would I have thought that about a mom using cloth diapers.

I'm really curious about this, as I have noticed lately on the parenting boards that it has gotten very militant like. It used to be we had debates about who was the 'better' mom because they stayed at home vs who 'worked' outside the home. (As if parenting isn't a full time job in itself. Parenting is work? What a silly thought)

Now we are arguing over diapers?? Am I missing something? I'm not sure what I think about clother diapers vs disposables. Actually I have never even really given it much thought. It's a dirty job, but somebodies got to do it. So after your spouse runs & hides, your neighbors tell you no & your other kids deny payment, you suck it up, smile & hold your breath. Then you sigh in relief...yay I didn't get it all over their clothes as they tried to wiggle away. (which seems to be the only time they want to roll over, other then when you're not looking of course)

But I do think it's a bit sad that mothers try to make other mothers feel like crap about it. No pun intended. It's just 'poopy-pee-pee' as my 5 y.o would say.


Part of this comment was pointed out-I just had to post the reply, it's almost too unbelievable to believe.

Here's a quote from a poster named Stacy, "Just TRY to wrap your mind around the idea that *maybe* when somebody who cloth diapers tries to "convert" you they just want you to enjoy diapering the way we do. Perhaps we just want to share something that has brought us so much joy. Believe me when I say, you will never understand until you try it. "

I believe her that I'll never understand. I just don't see how I'll ever find joy in changing a dirty diaper at all, whether cloth or disposables. And I think I'm a very in tune, loving, caring & attached mom.

Either does my friend
Kathy: I spewed my soda over this statement

"DAMN. I had NO idea their was JOY to be had with diapering. What a sad sad life I have led. I"m just going to have another baby so I don't miss out on the joy of diapering. Many things give me joy. That ain't on my list. Guess I'm doing something wrong."

{Course you aren't doing something wrong. What with a job, two girls, a husband who travels nonstop & a dog that likes to eat bandaids & barf them back up....I think you're doing a fan-tab-u-lous job.}

I do have to say though, I like the idea of cloth diapering. I just don't want to be the one to clean it up. ;-)

Here's another section of the reply:

"I hate mothers that claim to love mothering, but hate actual mothers. I like women, but I am sick and tired of people looking down their noses at me and the choices I make for myself because my choices make YOU uncomfortable with yours."

I couldn't agree more here. Really, and truly. I think we're all getting our diapes in a bunch. I still though can't help but wonder about the sense of 'sides' that I keep seeing. Just reading this section reiterated my feeling about it.

"You will never understand the
auctions that go for big bucks because what you don't see is the huge sense of community we CD'ers share. We support each other in ways I simply don't see in any other circles." (bold & italics mine)

Now it's 'WE'? In fairness though, I think I've felt the same way about breastfeeding when I've had to reply to moms who say that can't ever understand how they'd find joy in letting their baby nurse. We. Yeah, I've felt that.

So there it goes folks, women are fighting over poopy diapers. Here I thought it was time to rejoice that I rarely ever have to clean up after S*** at all anymore. Rarely.

May 23, 2005

Drive by is reformed

Squishy's bus driver (aka Drive By) has patiently waited for him every day now since I phoned the company. If he's already there, he waits nicely. He usually doesn't show up though until he should, and now Squishy has a chance to sit down before he drives off.

The driver even smiles now. I was shocked. I smiled back. All is good in K4 land.

Oh, and what the morning driver lacked, the afternoon driver made up for 10x fold. Yesterday when Squishy came home from school, the driver let him run into the house to show his buds his new Batman toy. Yeah, J.R is one cool dude. (Squishy says so)

Big boy

Squishy in the Fall. Back 'when he was wittle'. (He's a BIG boy now, you know, being 5 and all)

May 22, 2005

Congrats to Sam

Just when I was thinking I'm having a bit of 'baby fever' myself. Now maybe, she'll update her blog more often. With lots of pictures. ;o)

Prayers & 'sticky' vibes for a happy, healthy baby. (and a girl would be great, hint hint)

May 21, 2005

Happy Anniversary to me

Honey, has it been twelve or thirteen years?

The Husband informs me it has been twelves years. Yeah, I know, I'm the woman, and am always forgetting how many years it has been. Or realizing just the day before that it's our anniversary. I've been pregnant or lactating for like forever, I have a legitimate excuse. I've been with the man since I was fifteen. It feels like it has been 100 years. I'm only thirty-one, and it feels like we've been together for half my life. Wait, that's because we have been together for half of my life. Duh.

So, what have we done? It's Saturday, we slept in of course. We skipped the Sunday school pinic for sleep, a quickie & a shower where we can grope each other AND get clean. That's what you do when you're married with 4 kids. You multi-task.

Then we went to our local
natural foods co-op where the kids like to stare at the stockers with dreadlocks & anime tattoos. Why is it that some of these "natural" types look like a cross between Marilyn Mansion & Bob Marley? To each their own. Hey, they remind me of my highschool days. Why again did I throw out my pointy, lime green, suede Doc Marten books?

So, I could be a 'grown up'?

After we got our groceries,
fake meat products, dairy-free fudgesicles, (someone please tell me what's natural about faux foods?) & bulk oatmeal I threw caution to the wind and bought us a chocolate cake with purdy pink roses. (the cheesecake with strawberry topping doesn't count as no one saw me eat it)

As usual the kids can't seem to entertain themselves at a time when we'd like to be a-looone. *wink wink* (I think on some subconcious level they do this on purpose to insure there are no more siblings)

Hubby watches nerd TV, works out, then I get to see the
Star Wars movie at 9pm. You know, he's being ever so kind to see it again, on account of my wanting to see it and all.

I guess its no more sex for me. (Unless I want to wait til midnight...which is about when the kids finally go to sleep) It's cheesecake and blog hopping. Oh yeah.

But did I say how much I DO love this man? Even when he has been a total chump, God helped me love him anyways.

Afterall, he loves me, even though my middle name is p.i.t.a. It's a bit easier to love someone without condition when you know you can be a screw up too. God has been so good to us. Now to mentioned, he's a good lover. ;o)

Oh, and he's a godly man, treats me like a princess, and he's so good at saying, 'yes dear'.

May 20, 2005

Colonial Days

For Snoo's 5th grade colonial days project, they made bread, butter, and lemonade. They also made candles, running stitches, and strawberry ink. And a big sticky mess.

Strawberry ink forever
Snoo thought it was unholy to waste strawberries to make ink. I sort of agree.

As a volunteer I was scheduled to help supervise the cooking project on Thursday. Then lunch and games on Friday. I had the marble station. This is year 2005 people. I think only one kid had ever played marbles before. They were flinging, not flicking. There was lots of thumb cramping.

Jump the creek and sack racing was by far the favorite. For a 5th grader, anything that allows them to be loud, hyper, and smash into other people must be fun. We had to pack the kids a colonial style lunch. My degree in food anthropology is a distant memory. I have no idea what a colonial mom would pack their child. Bread, dried fist, and something to ward off Indian atacks?

I packed her an apple, carrots, grapes, and a boiled potato. I'm sure she had the most authentic lunch, what with raffia-handled coffee can pail. Hey, it seemed logical at the time and her teacher got a big kick out of it. They also got to feast on their bread, butter, and lemonade.

Of course, of all the station options, I get the messiest one of all. Every single group rotation there was at least one child that had a butter castoprophe. Warm, sticky, smelly cream flew everywhere. And on everyone at the table. Amazingly it never hit me. But was a room full of girls and boys with cream filled hair and clothes. And they even managed to make some real butter the left over cream not splattered everywhere.

Classroom butter
Note the duct tape on the margarine tub. A vain attempt, I know. I hear you chuckle.

The problem was in reusing margarine tubs to shake the heavy cream in. The gasses would make the seal leak and out came the cream, whizzing through the air. I suggested using a round modular mate which has a tight seal and then stopping to let the air out every few minutes. It was a common sense sort of idea that went over everyone's head.

If the kiddies want to make their own butter, use two small clean marbles, fill the container half- way with cream, then shake it, baby shake it. And then shake it some more. Until your arm hurts and your shoulders look like an olympic swimmers.

The kids were singing, 'come on, come on, come on, shake your butter, shake your butter'. Catchy. It was fun enough though and I've decided to study colonial times with the kids this summer. I found a great book:

Colonial Days : Discover the Past with Fun Projects, Games, Activities, and Recipes (American Kids in History Series)

Some of the more resourceful parents helped the kids sew skirts and bonnets. I was not one of those resourceful parents. Me? Sew? Yeah, right. Those women make me look bad and it's getting hard to assure Snoo that moms who know how to sew cute things in 2007 are like fairies and unicorns. The Stuff of Fairy Tales. My friend Kathy is one of those mythical women. Y'all need to stop with the adorable quilts and homemade frilly swirly-dos. I can barely keep my toilet seats clean.

I do have an eye for a bargain though so Snoo borrowed Mooch's Little House bonnet that I scored, along with a dress, for a dollar. Wrong time period, generally the same look. Caps so big you can't see where you're going and whether you're about to step in cow poop.

Colonial girls
Snoo is on the far right (notice their "pails" formerly known as coffee cans)

The morning rain cleared up and it was a beautiful day. I spent most of it serving refreshing beverages and food to a bunch of starved, impatient kids. Anotherwords, it was just like home.

May 19, 2005

Got Milk? Then grab a bottle

Afternoon tea
Originally uploaded by GeoWombats.

I came across this picture in flickr and knew I had to blog it. What a sweet, sweet face. And what a wonderful gift he's being given.

Breastfeeding is a natural thing, but it doesn't always feel that way. It's a lie to say there won't be problems, obstacles, reservations, or complications. Uh, there's small human being attached to your n*pple which is attached to a curiously swollen and often painful mass that was once known as a br*ast, but is now acting like an active volcano.

I nursed three out of four children. J was both breastfed and formula fed. LiL' J was more of a connoisseur and inisted his bottle be filled with breast milk. To prevent my child from starving when I worked part-time or had the rare occasion to leave the house without him, I took of the hobby of pumping milk. A girl has never known so much fun. What with the gadgets, hoses, seals, suction cups, and painful tugging. But a mother does what a mother has to. So why all the judgment? I am so over the whole debate. I still see it raging in every support group I'm a part of.

Yes, br*ast is best. But not all moms can or want to. It's just plain mean to make women feel bad when they can't. Most women who haven't gone into motherhood with the express decision to NOT breastfeed, feel like total failures when it doesn't work out. It's one of the first instances of lifelong mommy guilt.

I got an email from a woman named Misty who has been blessed with an adoptive baby. For them, this isn't an option, although some try to stimulate milk, its not that common. I wonder how many times an adoptive mom was unknowingly judged about not breastfeeding. I'm an s attachment parent, and I think breastfeeding is one of the best ways moms can start their child on a healthy road. But, I don't think if you don't breastfeed you can't join the ranks of attachment parentings. Breastfeeding is only one of many ways to practice attachment parenting. Not to mention that children do BOND and ATTACH to their moms with or without breastfeeding. Breastfeeding just takes it to a whole other level.

I've been a mother for almost fifteen years now even though I'm only thirty-two. I've been around moms of all walks of life. We share our joys, hopes, fears, tears, frustrations, reservations, confidence, guilt, desperation, pride, and all things wonderful.

When asked what I think, I always tell new moms to at least TRY breastfeeding. I've never once heard a mom say "I regret
breastfeeding my children." But, I can't count how many times I've heard a mom get emotional or show regert over NOT trying or not sticking it out long enough to make it work. It's nothing to beat yourself up over though.

Misty, emailed me to ask me what attachment parenting was for me. It's really fairly simple. I've had a child attached to my hip or leg since I was seventeen.

Really though, it's just about listening to my own instincts and not the well meaning, but often ill advice of a lot of "experts". There's been a few times where I've ignored reason and tried seasoned advice for various annoying aspects of having small offspring around. Mostly things pertaining to lack of sleep. Like the time where LiL' J decided he was unable to nap anywhere other than my lap or bed. He slept with us at night, but I needed him to nap somewhere safe. Since I've been responsible for four out of four children rolling off of the bed and onto the floor, I've had my share of the got-dang-it-I'm-going-to-make-my-child-brain-damaged moments.

When LiL' J was smaller I decided that I'd try the much debated Crying-it-out method of putting a child down to nap. I did what I was "supposed" to and "kept to my guns" when he continued to persist in his crying. Everything I had read or been told said that was the first stage where the child "tests" me, the parent, and I, the parent, must resist the urge to get the child.

Well, after like twenty minutes I finally decided the hell with that and to my horror I found LiL' J's leg STUCK in the bars of his crib. The boy shook and fussed every time we went passed his room for MONTHS afterwards. I felt like loser mom of the year.

For me, attachment parenting did have a start with breastfeeding but I think I've always had the mind of an attachment parent, long before I knew there was a word for it, and I don't think one has to breastfeed to attachment parent, nor does the presence of breastfeeding mean attachment parenting. I have a friend, who is extremely passionate about breastfeeding She jokingly refers to herself as the "breastfeeding nazi". She's extremely educated on the subject and if she wasn't always pregnant or lactating herself she'd be the richest LC in her town. She could write a book about the 1001 ways to make breastfeeding work and we've had some great chats. I think her mom might have feared she was losing her daughter to some strange lactating cult. She's currently nursing her third child. The woman's a wonder.

For me, attachment parenting really is about all the 7 baby B's

I'll try to post more about my journey into motherhood and what it's like to be an attachment to children who are no longer in diapers, but I just have to figure out this space-time continuum first. Things around here keep vanishing into space and I never have the time to figure it out.

May 18, 2005

Special Me

Well, tomorrow is the new Star Wars movie. Between Thhe Husband and The Kids, I've only had to hear about it, oh I don't know, about 300 times in the last 365 days. The Husband is taking the day off and Lil' J and Mooch get to stay home from school. J has to go to school for a few hours and then he 'll come home early, bringing two classmates with him, both of whom have written permission to leave the school and see the movie with sci-fi obsessed family.

J's best friend will stand in line as early as 9am. The Husband has some sort of master plan in the happening where J and the other boy will be in the school office at exactly 10am and if the other boy isn't there, he has to call by cellphone to inform The Husband why. The brigrade shant be waiting too long for him.

I get to stay home to attend Snoo's recorder concert and assist her 5th grade class in bread and butter making for colonial days. What do I know about making bread and butter? Other than pouring a few ingredients into a bread machine and unwrapping a stick of Land O' Lakes.

Who decided that the recorder should be considered a real musical instrument anyways? The person obvioulsy doesn't have kids. Especially tone deaf kids. This is the second year they've had to 'study' the recorder. I abhor the sound. It's hideous. I try to be supportive, but I'm ashamed to admit I make her practice in the basement laundry room. Just one more way I am insuring I scar my children for life. I can hear the therapy sessions now.

"....And on top of all that, my mom made me practice my recorder in the dungeon laundry room where it was cold, dark, and damp."

I'll just try to convince her that the laundry room had the best acoustics.

To 'prepare' for the magical day, The Husband is on a Star Wars binge. He's currently watching #1. The kids get to stay up with him. I'm outnumbered and very bored.

I'm so bored, in fact, that after going through my emails and folders I actually started reading through my junkmail. According to my junk folder, I must be special very special. I have not changed anything to the sender or subject text.

Sender- Subject

VLA- You're going to love this one. It's an oppurtunity of a lifetime. Risk free
He's going to give me the opportunity of a lifetime! With no risks? Who said if it's too good to be true, it must be. Mama was wrong?

U of Pheonix Online- Better your future with an online degree
Thank you, thank you. It's so flattering to have colleges chasing after me. Uhm, about twelves years too late, but apparently your recruiting departments consists of procrastinaters bigger then myself.

Tracy_Alsten- None
You have nothing to say, yet you still manage to flood the masses. That's impressive.

DeJesus Lending- Finance 1551
God is handing out loans? I can't imagine the interest rate.

Smith Barney- Urgent Notification from Billing Department
I am sorry, I am not home right now and will never pay this bill, er I mean please leave a message at the sound of the beep. Thank you and have a nice day.

Rean Sumaya- Home Based Business Opportunity
I told you, my fanny is too big for your sleazy webcam operation. Are you running out of ditzy college students or something?

f lindsay ltd- Nightlife
What is a nightlife? Was that when I got to go to a dinner and a movie just after dusk?

Wrinkle Serum- Turn Back the Hands of Time- Complimentary Trial
Sure, sure, that's what all the street pushers say. Here, have some free goodies. Then you'll have us all all begging for more. Just a little bit more! My forehead almost looks like Wayne Newton's and now you turn me away? You can't send me away now! Will you take Mcdonald's happymeal toys for payment? Lollipops? General Mills boxtops? A Gymboree wardrobe in size 3T? The cat?

atillman(eatraw)- Raw Health is Wealth
A raw-foodie once told me eating animals was mean and murder. Plants are living things. If I take a bite of something while it's still on the plant, does that mean I'm eating it alive? Let me finish these chips first, then we can philosophize.

Shen Sophie- Re(3): Question with his tablets
Tablets? You better lay off the stuff, I hear it causes paranoia. Hey, did he tell you I gave it to him? Where did you get my email address? Do you know where I live? Do I know you? Hold on, I think I hear somebody at the door.

Widen G Flaw- Good day
What were your parents thinking? Some people just shouldn't be allowed to name children.

8.9 Megapixel Camera- Get a Free Sony Cyber Shot Digital Camera!
I'm not falling for it this time.

Retailer Survey- Participate in our Retail Review Program
Here's my review: Wal Mart sucks. Your isles are always crowded. Nobody wants bags of stale cotton candy, and please switch to cellulite friendly lighting in the changing rooms.

Water Wonder- See the Waterfalls Alive.- Living Waterfalls Screensaver
I didn't know there were any dead waterfalls. I guess I should respond to more of the college emails after all and git' me some more schoolin'.

m Mims ltd.- Dr. Love
Sure, I bet that's what you say to all the girls....Mail order doctorates don't qualify.

Super Bowl Question- Who will win the super bowl?
The Packers. Ha!

Nunzio Parson- Exclussive Phharmacy
After you learn to use spell check, you should look up Widen G Flaw. I bet you two could share some childhood horror stories.

Online Thoughts- Give us your online thoughts and be heard by decision makers
I am the decision maker around these parts. heyyyyyyy, its me again
Listen, I know your not really the fonz. I thought we settled this?

Jeannie Danial- You have been approved!!
Is this a trick? Someone with a last name that sounds like denial, is telling me I'm approved? Whatever.

Devry University- Time to get serious about your career. Obtain a degree.
I didn't know I had to have a degree to be serious about staying at home to raise adorable children that scream, talk back at me, and act equally ungrateful. Much to my protest, the hospital let me take them home without any certificate... I've done gots by good enough so far, I reckon.

RealestateupRateUpdate- Benefit from reworking your real-estate lown
You have a way with words. An alternative ways of spelling.

Prom- You are made active
I vacuum three times a day. That's active enough.

LivingWallpaper- Melissa, experiene the waterfalls come alive- Living waterfalls wallpaper
Dude, stop smoking crack. The waterfalls are alive, with the sound of music....

Jennifer Carter- Your plastic surgery appointment
I've run out of money. Can I get a procedure done based on my good looks?

Tyrone Mcintosh- Crisis Octagon
What do you want me to do about it? I'm still mastering algebra.

Singh Ajit- Re(1): Discussion about our meds
Oh dear, now I understand. You've been trying to reach LivingWallpaper.

Cheri Smiley- bloodbath hernandez
I prefer to shower with water, but thank you. Hey Sweetheart
Shhh, somebody might think get the wrong idea.

Plasma Tv Giveaway- Complimentary Plasma Screen tv is waiting for you
Now you tell me, after the Super Bowl

atillman(eatraw) Raw Diet Supplies and Living Food
Living food? Living wallpaper? I guess it must be in the water....

The Real Deal- A Gelavia coffee experience
Did you know coffee can give you poop breath?

Damn that bus driver

Lil' J's (aka Squishy) bus driver is annoying me to no end. He's this old guy whose got the patience of a two year old in a candy store. No matter what the season or weather he's wearing this knit cap on his head. Not only is he the drive-off before you even get to the bus kind of guy, he's driving off before the kid even gets in the seat!

Jake's pick-up time used to be 7:41, so we'd go out there at 7:35. My townhouse is barely a minute and a half away. The only problem is the view of the street is obstructed by a row of 1970's style flat top garages.

After coming out to find him impatiently waiting many times, I began to guess he's the overly eager type. Then he began driving away before we even got to the stop. I can hear the bus before I can see it, as I walk down the drive-way. We're running towards him, yelling like lunatics as the occupants in the row of townhouses directly to my left tries to slumber, or get ready for work. Either way, they don't want to hear an out of shape mom in her pajamas screaming at the same lousy bus over and over each morning. Then there's Lil' J aside me, some mornings running with his little hands clutched to his spider-man backpack, all worried that he won't make it. Other mornings, he's just sort of shuffling along with as much enthusiasm as a dental patient. It's always the same outcome, at least a few days of the month this guy just flippin' drives off.

At first Lil' J just had to deal with it. Being in K4 the first few times he was very upset. School's the bomb at this age. Then after awhile, it was like...the bus missed me..right on,
Xbox here I come. All the while I'm pacing about the house looking at every clock, mumbling incoherently.

Then the driver says to me one day, that since he doesn't have as many high schoolers to pick up (Lil' J goes to a Christian K-12 school) he finds himself getting here earlier. So he's moving the time up to 7:38. No duh, you're getting here earlier, and leaving earlier, with or without your stop!! OK, fine whatever. I have to drag Lil' J's butt out of bed even earlier. Anyone with preschoolers knows 3 minutes can make a huge difference when you're looking at pick-up deadlines. Those of you who don't know this yet, I can only wickedly laugh with glee at your naivete.

One would think that we have a solution. Since he's driving off before we ever even fully get to the stop (and still driving as I wave at him frantically), things should be settled. I'm out there even earlier after all.

Nope, wrong. He's still driving away before the pick-up time. The only difference is I'm calling the bus company and complaining, insisting he come back around. Sometimes they send another driver, but most of the time it's this old guy. I want to suggest he get his eyes checked. Maybe he's having trouble reading the watch. Heh.

I'm nicknaming him drive by. You know, he drives by, does a California stop, and then gasses his gi-normous, yellow 'sports' car with lotsa windows like he's reliving the Speed movie. I bet he hollers some sort of hill billy yeeeeeeee-haw as he swings all over town.

Today was another drive by pick-up. As we run out there, he's driving by. But he forgot the pick-up. Yep. This time I haul ass back to the house, call the bus company and begin inspecting every clock in the house.

I'm running from room to room. Doo-doo, doot-doo, doo-doot, doo-doot, doo-doot, doo-doot, doo-doot, dada dada, doo -doo, doot-doot, doo doot, doo doot dada.... Kitchen clock 7:38, Computer, 7:38...TV clock..Wait, where's the remote? Where's the reeeeeeeeeeeeeee-mote? Yes, yes!!! 7:38. Damn that bus driver!!!!

Lil J'- Mom, that's a bad word.

Me: Yes, I know, sorry. Bad mommy.

So I call the bus company and I'm totally complaining. He's been doing this all year I tell them. Yadda, yadda, yadda. There's a discussion, I relay the facts while panting into the phone like some perv. Lil' J is worried because I told him if he didn't get to school, or if he missed the bus, he wasn't going to see the Stars Wars moving tomorrow. I tell him to chill, its not his fault, this time. She keeps putting me on hold to call the driver.

She's telling me that sometimes their watches aren't quite right.

"This happens", she says.

I told her it happens a-lot. I said his watch has been off all year!

The whole time I'm telling Lil' J to keep his shoes on. "No, don't get undressed, you're not playing video games. Keep you're shoes on! Yes, you're still going to school!" She says he's been sent back around.

Me: Let's go, let's go. Get your coat!! Where's your backpack? How could it be misplaced already? I grab his arm and start dragging him out the door.

Lil' J= Mommy, why is he coming back? Did he forget me the first time?

I mumble something else incoherently because preschoolers are notorious for repeating everything you say.

I'm barely out the door and I see him come around the corner flying towards the stop. I bet it kills him to see me w-a-l-k down the driveway. I put Lil' J on that bus, and this time I stand and hold the door so he can't drive off before he's even seated.

I look right at him and say, "So, we've been having a problem this year, haven't we? (I'm tapping the side of the door) You know, as I was running to the stop, you were driving away. That happens quite a bit. So, like, do you need to move the stop up to 7:37 or something. Would that be better? Because apparently 7:38 isn't soon enough or something."

He just sits there with a blank expression on his face. It's always the same, no matter what. Totally clueless, and a bit juvenile. Like he's a 13 year old, listening to a speech given in a foreign language about politics. A subject no doubt he could care less about. Its that 'huh?' look.

He nods. I think it was a yeah nod. He offers up no logical explanation. He just sits there with that same stupid look on his face that I've seen all year.

I don't even think he's capable of having a conversation that doesn't involve him nodding as a response.

Me: "I mean, because I've had to call them to have you come back to pick him up many times. I'm coming out here when I should, but you're driving off. I even checked my clocks and all of them said 7:38 after I got back to the house. So, what's up with that?"

He shurgs then points to his non-digital, ancient looking Timex and says" before we leave, the dispatch has us set our watches."

I reply, "maybe that dispatch doesn't know how to tell time then because when I came running back to the house after you drove off, it was just 7:38, which is when you should be picking him up. I'll be out here one minute earlier tomorrow, we'll see how it works, hey."

Humph. I'm so looking forward to
summer. I think.

May 16, 2005

Bored in UK

Last night I almost died laughing when looking at my blog traffic. In bold, I list the things searched, which by the way, were searched with the same IP address. I'm not sure what's funnier, that they are searching it, or that my blog comes up! Somebody searching in google uk not only has a lot of time on their hands, but is a bit goofy. Hey, no worries, I like goofy.

Armpits smell of cat urine

Should you be admitting that? Ewww (handing you a can of lysol), sorry, I can't help you. Why google sent you to my blog, is beyond me. Except I have blogged about my
pansi cat that loves to pee all over the house.

I know a guy though whose armpits smell like onions sometimes, but that's a bit more organic then cat piss. You might want to call a doctor like, uh, NOW. In the mean time, I'd scrub your armpits down with sandpaper, apricot scrub, hydrogen peroxide, and finish off with some generous sprays of lysol. Oh, and for goodness sakes, stop rolling around in the catbox!!

Poop GoodNites

Does anyone close to you know that you might be a tad disturbed? Or at the very least, have a hygiene problem? Nobody here has issues with 'poop GoodNites". You might want to look up a yahoo chat room titled, "Parents that Discipline". Oh yeah, I think it's right up your alley. *wicked grin*

Goodnites blogspot Birthday

Yeah, its official. I think you must have hit your head very hard as a child. At any rate, you are apparently very bored. Which isn't that bad of a thing if you like to read. Since apparently you keep searching & coming up with my blog, just sit back & have at it. You might find I'm almost as crazy as you. (Ok, not really, but I don't want you to have a self esteem problem)

Jesus will there be a metamorphosis of your people in 2005

There'd better be. Or we are all in deep trouble. At the rate we're going, if we don't change, our armpits might all smell like cat urine, we'll be crapping in our GoodNites, on our birthday no less, while surfing through blogspot. Tchah. How's that for a scary thought? Plus, spongebob square pants might become the new role model for kids. Certainly we can't have gay cartoon characters from the sea molding & shaping the minds of our young.

So what about you, Got Jesus?

May 11, 2005

Sexy Pantyhouse

Sometimes when I have time (yeah right), I will look to see what people are searching to find my blog. I decided to start keeping track because I only get a few saved before they are erased and some of them are quite interesting. I have a list somewhere but let me just share todays.

Sexy Pantyhouse.

Uh, first off, can't help ya. I've never been to a panty house. So I can't tell you which ones are sexy or not. I however have heard of panty hose, which I think suck, and are itchy. But to each their own.

Oh, and just in case you want better search results next time, try using a dictionary, or perhaps signing up for sylvan? Just a thought. Good luck in your search.

May 10, 2005

I'm not pregnant

And nor did I think I was. Aunt Flow stopped by. Like you care, but hey, you're reading anyways right?

I guess maybe it's good timing because I've just started wondering about trying NFP. I remember reading about it years ago, and thinking it sounded worth looking into.

I know I don't ever want to be on hormonal BC. But I also know, that the method we use now, is less then desirable.

So I have a confession. If you asked me a few weeks ago, when I'd get my period I probably would have squinted, looked upward, as I pretended in vain that I have even one clue about my cycle, and muttered, "Hmm, dunno."

Yes, I'm 31 years old, and don't even bother to track my cycle, ovulation, or anything of the such. Each month I say I'm going to write it down on the calender, and like getting my husband to put his dirty clothes into the hamper, it never happens. It did today though, because I logged it into computer. I'm both reproductive and productive today. It's about time for the latter.

Now what? I guess I start reading through all the NFP information.

Couple to Couple League- which I think is Catholic- something I'm certainly not. I say, yeah to priests and nuns being able to procreate themselves. It might make marital counseling a bit more authentic. But I digress. I also don't subscribe to many of the BC issues that church has.

What about
Billings Ovulation Method? The only thing I know about ovulation is that's when the egg drops and I get a bit randier then usual.

Then I found
Family Planning from Family of the Americas- It sounds a tad cultish

If that's not confusing enough, I found a heap load of info at
Natural Family Site - As I skimmed through that site I got a wee bit concerned about my identity. I noticed that I not only believe strongly in breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and attachment parenting, but my tendency towards vegetarianism, and organic foods means I might be evolving into a green-peace, granola eating, birkenstock wearing nut. I'm still insisting I shave my armpits though. That's not negotiable. Nor is my excessive usage of paper towels.

I have avoided the pill because of the side effects and possible complications. The idea of getting fat, uninterested in sexblood clots kinda scares me away. I just don't think it's worth it. I had a friend that was on the pill for years, and it caused her depression along with difficulty getting pregnant later on. Not to mention that it damaged her liver. Knowing me, I'd be the one that would get the rarest complication from BC usage.

So, basically we have used condoms and the rhythm method. So far, I haven't gotten pregnant. Out of my four pregnancies all of them were conceived naturally without any barriers. My family jokes people should use my soap while trying to get pregnant. The longest it has ever taken me to get pregnant is about 3 months, and that was from the time I first started having sex in May of 1989 to September. Keep in mind at 16 it wasn't that often. But more then I should have been doing at that age even.

On the other foot, the idea of NFP scares me to no end as well. There were times I'd avoid sex for fear of getting pregnant. After having 3 kids in 4 years all by the time I was 20, I was a bit burnt out. Not to mention that baby #2 had special needs and I had been separated from husband for 7 months of her first year. Then I had late onset PPD after baby #2t hat lasted for quite a bit. After I weaned baby #3 from 2 years of nursing, I had another recurrence of PPD.

I admit, I've been a bit scared of getting pregnant in the past, even to the point of having nightmares about it. Richard was asking for baby #4 for a few years before I finally let go of control and really prayed about it. Yes, I'm a perfectionist with some controlling tendencies.

This leads me to my next thought that I don't readily share with my friends and family. I acknowledge that I have a smidgen of doubt about my thinking. That my trying to have complete control over how many kids I have might be wrong. Or at least selfish. I'm not sure that it's feeling "convicted" as some might say. I wonder more if I'm being selfish by telling my husband that I'm not willing to have more.

I was watching a show on Discovery Channel about the
Duggars. Oh my is all I could say at first. I do respect and admire the family for many reasons yet I just can't say I'd want to embrace the mindset.

We have many "Quiverfull" families at our church and they are great. I'm amazed at how they do it. I just don't see how I could. I know it may seem like an excuse but J & Snoo have special needs. J has ADHD with depression. Snoo has ADHD and Tourette Syndrome and some signs of bi-polar. Mooch has some mild depression. I sometimes feel each of them is like two kids. Is it wrong to feel like you don't want more kids if they might have these disorders?

With my perfectionism, you can only imagine the conflict. My good friend Heidi totally knows what I mean. Every parent dislikes clutter, mess, or when kids don't pick up after themselves. But she and I go literally insane when things are out of place and out of order. There's a right way to do things, and why again aren't you doing it? We laugh that we are driving ourselves nuts as well as others. What's wrong with wanting a house to look like a magazine spread? I mean, other then it's unrealistic.

It's not that I don't want our home to feel comfy, cozy and lived in. I just don't want things all over the floor, piled on tables and stuffed in every corner. Oh, and when it comes to housekeeping, if possible I'd also like to have less offensive odors. I have two very messy kids with inconsiderate tendencies.

Just this morning I was wondering what the horrendous smell was in the girls room. Snoo, 12, had wet the bed a few times and put her good-nites in MY bedroom trash! She was honestly and completely clueless as to how that was inconsiderate and why I was so annoyed. I have to give her credit for actually putting it in the trash though. Usually, they are piled all over the floor.

What would I do if I had 5 kids like that?

Some of you may be wondering why I'm babbling about this. Why does it matter? If I don't want more then four, just avoid pregnancy. Well I have been doing that. However, this is where the smidgen of doubt turns into a tad bit of guilt. See my husband wants six kids. He's been saying that for years, but I just dismiss him as being a little loco or dyslexic.

You mean four, right?

Or just really in touch with his feminine side. So I got him two more cats. 4 kids+2 cats=6. We have one more cat for good measure. I have learned that although he's a cat person, I can't get him to replace his "idea" of two more kids, for two more cats. Shucks.

I keep thinking as the years go by, and the parenting issues come up with these four, he'll begin to see he really meant 4. There are some times that I think he has. He even started mentioning the V word, when I talked about the advantages. Then it turned into, how about I freeze and store some of my sperm before the V, "just in cause".

Huh? Pay to freeze sperm? Does it really matter to him that much? Am I a selfish woman? Shouldn't I be thrilled since so many woman usually want more and their husbands don't?

He even has the names picked out. Let's just say another son would be named after a number.


Yeah, nice. I really think this man is serious, and I wonder if I try to hoard control over this issue he'll later resent me or always think about the other kids he wanted and didn't get. I can just see it now. Fast foward 10 years. We're at the park and Richard says to me, doesn't that child look like the other daughter we could have had?

Does it become wrong when one person in the marriage, denies the other when it comes to the amount of kids they want? There is always a middle ground right? A compromise? I thought I did that with four kids. For awhile, it seemed to be fine.

I'm still young enough I should be able to have more. I wouldn't want to try after 35 though. When the oldest 3 are going into college and finishing high school, LiL' J will be like 12. The idea of being able to travel and do things when I'm still under 45 is extremely appealing. I guess at this point, to be honest, more appealing then trying to squeeze in two kids in the next 3 years.

Much more appealing.

May 09, 2005

Well, did I do it?

Was I insane or overly optimistic? I think I was both...

Let's see what I did get done:

Paint Kitchen
Paint pantry
Paint bathroom cupboards
Replace cupboard hinges
Lay vinyl by front entrance
Put new pads on DR chairs
Upholster new pads on chairs

Slip cover chairs
Clean carpets
Re-arrange LR set
Paint girls room
Clean mattress
Wash Pottery Barn Kids bedding
Hang mesh valance over beds
Pack goodwill bags
Sort through toys

Buy frames for pictures
Hang up artwork & pictures
Wash shower curtain
Fix screens on windows
Buy new window blinds

BUY NEW MINIVAN - KIA Sedona LX Sage Green (with DVD)

We accomplished 16 out of 22 in just a few days..oh yeah.

Now, if I could just clean the house.

May 08, 2005

Happy Mothers Day

To all you moms, moms-to-be, and grandmas. To those of you trying desparately to be a mom, I give you some (((Hugs)))

This is the first Mother's day without my grandma Bonnie. I feel for my mom and her siblings. I'm a little frustrated when my own mom though. She's back in Yosemite, having purchased one-way ticket for a job she may or may not get. Thank God she did get the job though. However, she's having to room in a hotel until the job starts on May 15th. This means that my already depressed, anxious, stressed, broke, sad (the list goes on) mom has to try and survive until then. Last time she did something like this, I had to call a clerk at a YNP grocery store to purchase her a gift card for food, and an amtrack ticket here. Long story.

She called me Saturday night, and I could tell she had been drinking. We're in the middle of a movie so I told her I'd call back. She never answered. I kept calling and calling, the poor desk clerk. He even knocked on her door two different times! I finally told him I was a bit concerned as she sounded stressed, and he agreed from his own observation. I knew she had been drinking, and knowing my mom, I knew chances are she probably had taken either a sleeping pill with the wine or an anti-depressent. Finally I just reminded myelf I can't worry and fret but just give it over to God in prayer.

My posse knows what I mean when I told myself, "dork fret it" and went on with the night.

The last thing I wanted to invision is her doing something stupid. Most likely an over dose would be accidental, but gosh, is that what I should be wondering on the eve of Mothers day? She's 51 and I'm 31. I wonder if I'll ever feel like I'm more the daughter then surrogate mom.

After a great church service, we got family portrats taken, and enjoyed a great meal the social committee prepared.

We had:

  • Ham and/or roast beef
  • Buttered potatos
  • Green bean casserole
  • Corn
  • Pasta salad
  • Rolls
  • Relish tray
  • Punch & coffee

Then my favorite of all, angel food cake with strawberries and cool whip.

Then we tried to guess which moms belonged to the baby pictures on the screen, followed by a hilarious skit put on by the youth pastor & the intern pastor. It was actually very nice, expecially not to have to worry about lunch. I'm glad our church is finally moving more towards a community feel.

I then called my mom, told her how mad I was that she calls like that, and then never answers, and what I was thinking. She admitted she had drank and took some sleeping pills. Ugh. As a kid I always used to worry that one day when I went into her room she'd be dead. After lecturing her, I wished her a Happy Mothers day. Anyways....

Oh, and the bestest part? My homemade card from J, S, M & lil' J. Lil' J's class made these cute night light things. At least I guess that's what they are. S recycled two gifts she gave me last month & some cute coupons, (is she a re-gifter in the making?) and M made me a clay flower with a poem.

I love being a mom. 99.9 1/2% of the time. Ok, more then that, but there are those days.

May 07, 2005

Yes, I'm alive

Ok, ok, no more emails. Yes, I'm alive. No, I haven't run away. (Although, the thought has entered my mind).

I guess I left you hanging with my last post. Some of you miss my blogging, although for the life of me, I can't see why you'd be interested. Maybe it's because we like to peek into others lives. Maybe it's the camaraderie, you know, the tales of a fellow desperate housewife. Or maybe you just like to laugh at me.

At any rate, I'm here, I'm alive, and I promise to start blogging again. Soon. Until then, let me leave you with a few words to preview what the last few weeks have been like.

Sick car
Excessive cleaning
House repairs
New Car
Foreign exchange student
Tour guide
Lost and found
Unpredictable mother, being predictable
Sassy kids
Failing grades

Yep, that about sums it up. I think. Oh dear, I guess I've left you hanging, again. Shame on me.