February 28, 2005
When I got Lil' J (4) on the bus today, there was a beer can on the bottom step as I helped him on.
It was a Pabst Blue Ribbon. Blech.
I picked it up and said, "Sir, you have a beer can on the bus?". My expression caught him off guard and I can tell he had no idea what to say. He replied, "Oh yeah, that stag party last night. I thought I got everything out."
I'm thinking, hmm. Interesting. Ok, so the school district rents busses out for stag parties. Since when are you allowed to have an open beer in a moving vehicle though. A school bus no less. Not sure what I should make of it, but one thing I do know for sure. Whomever it belonged to, has no taste in beer.
February 27, 2005
Little Josiah Atchison is at Children's Hosptial and in need of our prayers. He's the oldest son of Dan Atchison and Maria Atchison, whom are directors of Clearwater Master's Commission. I do not know this family personally, but I'm a mother of a four year old boy. I'm also their sister in Christ. I share in their dream of healthy children. Children with a future and a hope.
I came across this site a bit ago by another Christian blogger. After reading through, looking at the pictures of little Josiah, I knew I had to pray for him. It's my privledge to do so. I can't even imagine the difficulties and emotions they face. Our God is an awesome God though, and He is able to do mighty things. I urge you to join me in constant and consistent prayer for this family.
Also, please join the prayer chain, learn more about this little guy, his family, and the very specific prayers requests the family has. Don't forget to allow for the pop-ups on that site.
If you know of any others that need prayer, please post and I will pray for them.
February 26, 2005
Mooch and Snoo did awesome. Snoo hit the pin on her 3rd lap of 5, so she was way bummed out. I told her beforehand to watch the pin. I was always great at the relays, and rarely hit the pin. She kept saying she wanted to stay close to the line though, or she'd be 'running extra laps' if she stayed too far out. I didn't say, I told you so, they all did great and had fun.
She did mention it to me afterwards, and I just told her that you can't run 'extra laps', just by leaning out farther from the line. I know that doesn't make sense but she's not always the most logical. She was very enthusiatic and a great sport this year though. She did a great job and we told her so.
I then told her that next time, to stick closer to the line, concentrating only on the line, watching for the colored pins, and then lean out when you're going past the pin, and lean back in when you go past it. She said, "Ah, I got it! Ok, next year I'm doing that."
To be picked to do the 5 lap relay usually means you're fast and have endurance. For her to be picked is quite a complement because usually she is super clutzy and slow. She's come such a long way since her early days of developmental delays. She kicked butt in the balloon relay, hitting the balloon repeatedly to our side.
Mooch is usually the fastest girl, and one of the most competitive. She's been wanting to win since Sparks. Especially the year when she was the best on the team, and was totally ready, and we got the time mixed up and showed up after Sparks had their games. We were all crushed and I felt so bad. She had been bugging us to leave and go, and we ran a few errands thinking we knew when to be there. They had to grab some other girls to fill in for her. Her leader was so bummed as well since she was positive Mooch would have brought them to 1st place.
Another one of their friends was one of the fastest this year, and she looked like she was ready to box someone. She had this fierce look of, get outta my way, everytime she was up for a game or relay. Mooch got bummed when she dropped the bean bag during one of the relays. Mooch was the one throwing them to the girls, they catch it and throw it back, then Mooch throws it to the next girl, and so on until the last girl gets it and runs to grab the pin. She's pretty hard on herself when it happens, but they did their past and that is what matters. That and they have fun and play fair. One year, one of the teams was cheating and many of us were very upset the referrees didn't notice or disqualify them.
The 1st place team is usually the 1st place team each year and I swear their girls are amazons. It's like they pick the largest of the girls or ones that have been retained two grades. They all look more like 7th graders then 3rd-6th. We had to borrow some girls from First Alliance church since we never have enough girls to qualify for a team. Last year, our girls didn't even compete. I have no idea why so many of our girls aren't able to come, but I think it's a mixture of other activities and indifference. With the addition of some wonderful girls from First Alliance church, we had 3 Rachel's on the team. So, when they were all running in one of the relays it was easy to cheer them on. We just all screamed, Rachel!!! ;o)
It was a great awana games for us. The girls did so well. The relays they lost was only because they were a few steps behind in grabbing the winning pin in the middle. The boys of Truth and Training grabbed 1st place at 39 points. Richard had suggested to the leader at the end of last year, that the boys should have to play all the Awana games each club night. Then if they had time, they could play dodgeball. Richard was a leader for the Truth and Training boys, until we stopped going there in October. Richard wasn't sure if they stuck with the plan, but it was obvious they did by how well they played today. I asked the girls if the boys have been playing the games at each club and they said yes. Richard smiled big, I know he's very proud of the boys and misses helping with them. He went and bought dress shoes and we're going to start going again tomorrow. We'll see how it goes though since we've said that a few times already.
February 23, 2005
Some of us aren't feeling very good either.
I think there's dirt in my throat again. My friend Linda will laugh at me, but that's how it feels. I ordered pizza to stuff our faces while we pity ourselves. They messed up our order of course, so we are waiting on the second pizza. In the mean time, I'm sucking on the jalapenos Papa John's puts into the boxes. Mama mia, I think I can breathe again.
I still have to call the mechanic about our van. But that would involve also calling AAA to come tow it, which means I'd have to brush my hair and put some clothes on. I think I'll sit and watch Sleepless in Seattle with my pizza instead.
Or maybe Meet the Parents. Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? Little House? If only I had Little Women on DVD.
Hmmpf. Cough. Sniff.
February 22, 2005
I guess it does though, since Rebecca St. James is that 26 year old virgin, who has a passion for talking to young people about waiting until marriage. She is involved with the True Love Waits group. There is more information about this movement at Love Matters. When I was 15 it was called "Why Wait". In my group of friends that went, I think only a few kept their committment to remain virgins until marriage. Just from the friends I kept in contact with from El Cajon Christian Junior High, I think there was at least 3 of us that were teen moms.
I have often wondered, why I went the direction I did, while others didn't. One thing Rebecca writes in an interview with Decision publication, which is put out by the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, is how much her family has helped support her in her faith and decisions. There was a lot of open communication and support. Now, I'm not going to blame my choices on my family.
However, having been from a broken home at the age of one, and then made fatherless at the age of two, only to be raised by an emotionally abusive mom, who was also neglectful did not make it easy for me. I was also asked to leave the Heritage Christian Junior High for my grades after only attending one semester of 8th grade. So I watched most of my friends go on to the high school. Since my mom was lukewarm about her faith then (after having gone to Shadow Mountain Community Church for about a year or so where my grandparents were members) I was pretty much cut off from support. My mom did her own thing, let me do what I wanted, go where I wanted, she wasn't interested in my life. (At least it felt that way). At that point, a matter of fact, I saw her as nothing more then a hyprocrite. Even when I had gone to the youth group at SMCC, then called Scott Memorial Baptist, I just felt invisible. I think my getting kicked of out high school for truancy was a cry for help from her. To be a mom, to care, to talk to me. Instead, I went to a continuation high school, where some of the kids were kicked out for much worse things then I. That is where I met Richard, both of us were 15. He is now my husband.
I know there are some young people, that regardless of abusive households and a lack of a church family, go through high school without involvement in drugs, sex, and all the rest, but by the time the end of 9th grade had come, I wasn't one of them. Frankly, there aren't many kids at all, regardless of their faith and homelife. Or maybe I'm just jaded, but it seems that way to me.
I do appreciate what singers like Rebecca St. James are doing though, and groups like True Love Waits. I think however, to maximize effectiveness, many pieces have to be in place, the most important, being the family atmosphere.
Another good group is Girls Of Grace which is a wonderful organization conceived by the Christian group, Point of Grace. My girls are currently reading their book, Girls of Grace - Faith, Family, Friends, and Boys.
I will provide the family environment for my kids, that I didn't have. Covering them in unconditional love, prayer, acceptance, and support. I will also talk, talk, and talk about sex. As well as love, marriage, self esteem, and learning to love who they are early on. When it comes down to it though, they will make their own choices. All I can do then is cling to the promise of Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Does this mean they won't rebel, test the limits, experiment? No, I am sure they will. I can almost bet on it. Do Adolescents: Run Amuck? Yep, it seems so. Preachers kids are often known for being worse. I enjoyed reading Those Adolescent Preacher's Kids by Thomas F. Fischer, M.Div., M.S.A
I was friends with a PK in 8th grade. She was definitately out there, pushing it, even doing some really dumb things. I remember when my mom was so proud that I was friends with this PK who was visiting her dad for the summer. (Her father had an affair with a woman he was counseling. He resigned as Pastor & her mom divorced him and moved out of state) My friend whined all night about sneaking out. When I finally gave in she lit up some cigarettes, and then walked right up to the car of about 5 college aged men that were hollaring at us. She had a potty mouth on her for sure, and was beyond boy crazy. I practially had to drag her butt away from the car, asking her if she was nuts! That was the summer before 9th grade, I can only guess how her high school years went.
Lord help me, because He knows I need it with a 14 year old son and two girls aged 12 and 11. M constantly points out the 'hot' guys already. So I'm right on the edge. If I survive those years, I get to do it again with my youngest (4) as he toddles after them.
Yes, I did say we, as it was decided we would all just go as a family and I am glad we did. It was a very expensive two nights, but I have to say, it was worth it. I'm glad I decided to go, and that we all went. We were blessed by it, and I finally 'got it'. I'll post more later, about what I mean.
The car that we originally were supposed to rent wasn't available, so we had the Dodge Ram with 4 wheel drive instead. Richard has decided he wants a truck now. ;o) It sure did come in handy on the drive home as it snowed the whole day. We counted at least 17 cars in the ditch from the Andover area to Milwaukee. We got home safe, without any trips off the road.
$18o for the rental truck.
$180 for the hotel stay at AmericInn (great place by the way)
$100 on snacks & swimsuits since we forgot the suits
$100 on gas
$40 on shoes & pantyhose (Ok,very forgetful)
$50 on breakfast
Being with your family and celebrating the life of a woman that truly loved the Lord Jesus, Priceless.
God is good.
February 17, 2005
Mooch will be missing her last France meeting, and both the girls would miss there AWANA olympics practice. R is able to get bereavement time off so that is not an issue. I feel so selfish making an issue of it, but honestly it's money we just don't have right now. I want to go, but then I don't. It's not like I'm saying good bye, she's been gone for almost a month. My kids never got to know her, and I know that my husband would rather not go. He'd go for my support. I could go by myself, and still have to pay for the rental, (leaving R home without transportation for the weekend with the kids) gas, and food. I could then sleep on my aunt's couch. Driving an unfamiliar car all by myself for 6 hours, and sleeping on the couch for two days sounds very unappealing to me. Again, that makes me feel selfish.
When it comes down to it, the memorial is only for a couple of hours on Saturday morning. Part of me feels like it makes no sense to spend around $500 or more essentially for a very brief memorial, and a church meal afterwards. Part of me feels that sounds so petty and selfish. I wonder though, would she want me to go, knowing what an extra finianical burden it is for us?
I know that Mooch doesn't want to go (she had to see her 11 y.o friend buried in September), J doesn't want to go, and Richard would rather stay home if given the choice. So, I guess again, I'm selfish because I'd rather drag all of my family, pay extra money we don't have, so that I won't be 'alone'.
I also feel I 'should' go, because my family wants me to be there, and it seems the right thing to do. I have to admit, I am extremely close to my grandma Millie, and I don't think I would even be considering any of this right now if it were her. What a terrible thing to admit. However, it's not like this is her funeral. She was cremated, and so we are gathering to remember her and celebrate her life with her church family and ourselves. I feel though, that I think about her almost everyday, and thank God for her spiritual legacy, that I don't need a ceremony to do that.
I think if the car wasn't out of service, and I wasn't already feeling overwelmed this wouldn't be such an issue. I just feel like I can't make a decision and I'm making a bigger issue out of it then I should be. The truth is, we just don't have the money for that kind of expense. I can come up with it, but then I'm taking it from our house fund. Then I wonder, so am I saying my grandma isn't worth the money and time? I don't feel that way, and I guess that isn't fair either, but it sounds like I'm saying that when I put it into words.
I guess I have 3 choices
- Stay home. Then feel guilty about it and wonder if I should have gone, and what others are thinking of me.
- Go, and bring all of us, so I won't miss them and be alone, spending money we don't really have. Also, having the girls miss activities they'd rather not miss.
- Suck it up, and go by myself. Then probably cry in the service because my grandma, mom, and aunts & uncles lose it, not having my hubby there to support me. Drive the rental by myself, sleep on a couch, and then come home. (leaving R to stay home from work to see the kids off to school etc)
What to do, what to do. Why do I have such trouble making these choices?
I was thinking that I could see if S could come with me. She'd probably love the time alone with me, and it would give her a chance to meet my family. She's only met them once when she was 5, and she doesn't remember. I brought the two youngest out in August, and was suppose to bring her out later on, and I never got to. I feel bad about that, and I know she felt bad as well.
The police aide never called me back, I had to keep calling everyday until he took my call yesterday. He says the owners couldn't produce papers but that the dog had tags on, and the clinic verified it was up to date on the rabies vaccine. He also told me, it's up to the county to decide what to do with the dog, and that it's being 'quarantined' at its home. I don't see how that is proper, as it's still in the house, with two other kids. He also said, that it's very possible the dog will be allowed to remain there. The owners will be given a fine, and have to pay restitution for our medical bills however. I am not thrilled at the idea of the dog being allowed to stay in a home that is right next to a park!
So far, she hasn't had any nightmares or problems walking by the park. God is good. She still has fear, and a lot of issues with how the kids treated her, but again God is good. I am still going to push for the dog to be removed though, I'm not going be happy with them just paying a fine for 'bad dog' behavior! That's not enough, in my opinion, this dog is known to be mean, lives near a park, and a school where kids walk home. Obviously, they are not responsible dog owners.
I'm so thankful though, that she's ok, and it was so minor, I know how blessed we are. Thanks for your kind words and prayers.
February 16, 2005
Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2005 05:00:36 -0600
Subject: Hump Day
Nevermind the weather. I never even pay attention to these emails. I have no idea why I signed up in the first place. Most weather forecasters are liars.
Marching on...How long has Wednesday been known as Hump Day?
This is a news flash to me, no pun intended. I consider myself educated and well cultured. How is it then that I've never, ever known Wednesday to be called "hump day". Have I been sleeping under a rock all these years?
I actually emailed The Husband to tell him that someone at WTMJ really needs to start checking for typos. He laughed at me and informed me that it wasn't a typo. Apparently, I'm just the naive idiot of the day.
Uh. I guess it's true. You learn something new every day.
February 15, 2005
By the way, we still haven't been to church since we left in October, and it's awful. Please pray this resolves soon, or we find a new church. It has turned into a huge mess. I guess I should blog about it but I suppose I haven't wanted to. In the mean time, the kids have still been going to AWANA at the church, and J has been going to the youth group.
February 14, 2005
February 12, 2005
Then lil J' comes home and decides he is going to whine all day about everything. Nothing he needed or wanted was given to him fast enough. The cat from hell peed on the floor again. It's beginning to smell so bad I don't even want to be in my living room. I'm going to have to clean the carpet again, and get some enzyme stuff. If he does it after that, he's moving on.
I decide I'm going to relax in my room to watch TV around 3p. I'm just gonna chill out. Yeah, right. Just before 4pm, as I'm wondering why J (14) isn't back from school yet, S (12) comes barging into my room in hysterics. I heard her screaming, and crying all the way up the stairs. Her face is flushed with total terror. She starts screaming about how she was bit by a dog, and how she's going to die. She's so scared she's going to get rabies and die. Her whole body is shaking, and her eyes are full of panic. I'm scanning her and trying to remain calm, thank God that her beautiful face is untouched. She pulls up her pant leg, and although there is a puncture wound, I thank God, it's not serious. It could have been so much worse, and I know she's lucky. There are no lacerations. No need for stitches. She does have a tiny bit of blood at the surface, bruising, and some scratching.
She goes on to tell me that they weren't taunting the dog. It had a leash on and it was running loose in the park near our townhouses. When she walks home from school, there is a park on the way, and the kids often take a short cut through it, or slide around on the ice pond. She was with a classmate (11) and his little brother, and her 'friend' also 11. The boy, P, was walking around near some rocks, and was trying to show S and the others something. S saw the dog, and thought it might belong to E, who happens to be our son's (J, 14) friend. She told us how she just said, "hi doggy". It then began to chase her, she got scared and ran. She fell in the snow, and as it began to bite and claw at her coat, all of the kids ran off. She was screaming for help. She is still going over how alone she felt as she screamed for assistance, and no one seem to hear her. (There are houses everywhere) I can understand the other kids being scared. However, it's a small dog. It's a cocker spaniel mix. They not only ran off, but didn't try to get her any help from a nearby house.
That's not the worse of it though. When she tried to stand up and run, and it started biting and clawing at her leg, the kids laughed at her. They mocked how 'funny' she looked trying to flee. I am so disgusted that someone could be raising a human being that would laugh at another person when they are in pain and being attacked by an animal. You'd better believe I will be calling the school on Monday. Her 'friend' also laughed, but walked home with S when she got the dog off of her and got away. This dog could have done some serious damage, even given its size, I do believe her angels were looking after her.
I'm trying to console her as I call the police. I then call her pediatriction who is out, and they leave a message with the nurse. They tell me to take her to our nearest urgent clinic since they are almost closed to get her started on antibiotics, and possible rabies shots. We have no idea whose dog it is, but I have a sneaky suspicion it is indeed E's. I then call J's friend, JP, to find out if J is at his house. His mom says all of them are at E's house! I tell her what happened and she tells me straight away it's E's dog. Not only was she bit right near E's house, but this dog is apparently very mean, and she's warned JP about going over there. The dog can be heard barking viciously all through the park, and towards the townhouses where JP lives. E's mom has to keep the dog in the yard when anyone comes over because it's so mean. It also matches the description S gave.
So, I call over at E's house, and leave a message. I then try to get a hold of R, and again I see God's hand in all of this when I'm told he has already left. (normally he doesn't take the bus from downtown until 5:45p)
I call E's house back again, and this time the mom answers. I tell her who I am, and ask if J is there. She basically has this attitude of, 'why the hell are you calling my house'. She tells me J is there, and I have to tell her a second time I want to talk to him. I can hear a dog barking the whole time. I am really irritated at J at this point since we have told him a million times to come straight home after school. I ask him if E's dogs are there. He tells me one of them is in the house, (I know that she would have had to put the other one out back because of how mean it is) and I ask him what they look like. I tell him that S has been bitten by a dog, and I think it's E's dog. He starts telling me it can't be, because it's in the house and it's white, not tan. I then tell him to STOP repeating what I'm asking him so she can hear. I tell him to come home RIGHT now. He keeps saying, "huh" or "what?" I'm having to yell into the phone.
He actually tells me, "I can't." I reply, "excuse me? What do you mean you can't? Are you not hearing me?" J has developed this irritating way of talking, like he's some dumb clueless stoner. Except for he's not on drugs, and he's not really dumb. I can tell he's NOT really listening to me, but watching some stupid video game. I can't even remember what I'm yelling into the phone at this point. Keep in mind that S is holding on to me the hold time screaming and crying, petrified she's going to die. I remind her over and over, she's not going to die. I can barely hear what J is saying. Lil' J is running about, totally freaked. He says, "I can't come home right now, JP is getting his hair done."
This is about where I begin to struggle with my inclination to swear when I'm very agitated. I think my response was something like, "What did you say? Your sister has been bit by a dog, a dog that belongs to that woman. (I wanted to call her something else) You're at their house right now, the house where that dog belongs to. And you're telling me that you can't come home now because he's doing his freakin' HAIR? Are you smoking crack or something? Do you NOT understand what I'm telling you. Get your ___ home now!! Tell JP to come with you!" I think I did very good. I only said one swear word and one substitution, even though I was hearing a whole bunch more in my head.
Finally the police show up and S tells them what happened, information is given, and thankfully I have the last name, and first initial of E's parent via caller ID. One of the police aides happens to be a guy I used to work with at Target. Again, I see God working in all of this. R gets home at about 5p, and as S runs to the door still in hysterics, (I kept reassuring her that chances of a dog with a collar & leash having rabies was extremely slim) I intercept him to assure him it isn't serious, the police have come already, and we have an appt at 7p with the doctor.
In all of the crying, chaos, and phone calls I didn't even notice it was 5:05p. Mooch (11) should have been off the bus at 4:30 and still wasn't hope. I begin looking for the bus route card with the phone number. The bus has been late before due to bad weather or a new driver. I can't believe I haven't noticed yet, and I check to make sure she didn't have culture club, which she didn't. (Since the car can't be driven that far, she'd be stuck there) The receptionist tries to radio him but can't get through. After being on hold for 10 minutes, she informs me that he's done with his route, and as far as they know, on his way home. My heart is starting to beat a million miles a minute. I ask her, so my child has just disappeared? I informed her that Mooch NEVER came home. I'm trying not to panic, but 35 minutes have gone by from when she should have been home. Is she sure we have the same route number? She then puts me on hold, which feels like forever, to tell me yes, we're thinking of the same route/driver and he's already dropped all the kids off. My head is throbbing, and I'm trying to block out scenario and visions of sinister acts perpetrated upon her. Mooch is the last child dropped off. I think I actually thought, 'what if something terrible happened to her, just before her trip to France'. I'm telling myself how OCD that sounds. She tells me they will keep trying to reach him at home. I'm placed on hold once more, R is telling me to breathe.
In the mean time I'm wishing I had a cell phone to start calling the other students that ride her bus. Finally after 15 more minutes on hold, she informs me that Mooch stayed at school for Girl Scouts. Girl Scouts!!? She's not in Girl Scouts! She asked me if she could start a new troop, but not once have I made contact with the leader, nor signed papers. Mooch never called me to ask if it was ok. She knew our car wasn't working right. Great! How the heck am I going to go get her, and take S to the doctor's before 7p? I don't even know when it's over. I call the school and no answer. Oh, and J is STILL not home. I am asking R how our son can act so dumb sometimes. I'm pacing back and forth to the window, where the heck is he!!? I told him to come home like 40 minutes ago!! I actually ask a neighbor girl to go towards E's house while I was on the phone.
I call a friend of Mooch's that not only rides her bus, but is in the GS troop. SW lives really close to us, maybe they know the cell phone number of the leader, or can give Mooch a ride home. No answer. So I call the principal, whose daughter is in the troop and happens to be one of Mooch's closet friends. She tells me she was just about to call me, it must be 'esp'. I tell her what a emotional roller coaster I have just been on, and that I know nothing about the GS meeting, or when it gets out, or how to go get her. She tells me then that her daughter already asked if they could bring her home so Mooch could stay for the meeting and see if she likes it. She says, "you mean, she never called you?"
Well at least Mooch made sure she had arrangements! I went from being panicked that she had disappeared to glad she was not hurt, to wanting to wring her neck myself, and relieved she wasn't actually stuck at the school. The mom felt terrible because normally she would have made sure this was ok with me, but it was a crazy busy day and she didn't double check to make sure she called me. I am finally starting to breathe normally. I'm all wound up at this point. I felt like I was having an anxiety attack there for awhile. She apologizes but I'm just glad she's ok, and they are picking her up. R says he'll go get her from her house at least. They are only like 15 minutes away.
Ok, I can breathe. I need to calm down. Where the heck is J? Why is he still not home? He finally comes strolling home with E and JP. He has some dumb lame excuse they he couldn't leave. He tells us how when he 'tried' to leave the police were outside. For one, no one told him he couldn't come home. For two, I told to come home long ago, before the police even came to my house. I ask his friends to step aside as I'm about to become unraveled at my sons stupidity and disrespect. Everything he said was dumb beyond belief. I was calm until he began to raise his voice at me.
Get this, J is going on about how it couldn't have been E's dog anyways because it was at the house, the mom put it outside, blah blah. They start asking S what it looks like. Even JP and E are saying..yep, that's the dog. E (14) actually apologizes to S, and says how much he hates the dog, how mean it is, and how he's asked his parents to take it away. But do you think S's own brother could show some compassion, some sympathy? You think he'd come running home as soon as he heard she was bit by a dog, especially one that belonged to E? You'd think maybe he'd think that he might need to baby sit lil' J? No, he just goes on about how he couldn't come home before then. It's not his fault. This was so not true, nobody held him down. He acts shocked that 40 minutes have passed by since when I first demanded he come home. (He never even asked if he could go over there anyways) He asked as to why she's crying and shaking as much as she is. He has a tone of disbelief that if it was E's dog how could it bother her that much, since it's such a 'little dog'. He asks to see the bite. That's when I lost it.
I start a procession of rants with very little pausing between sentences. I went on about how he knows that 'little' dog is so mean that it has to be chained out back whenever people come over. That all the neighbors have made complaints, that the parents own child has asked over and over to take it away. (E has an 8 y.o brother too). That she's chased and attacked by this dog, as she watched all her friends run away, and then proceed to laugh at her. All the while she's scared to death that it might have rabies and she'll die. She has to walk home in pain, face the police while she's a wreck, wait for her dad to come home, and pray her sister hasn't really disappeared. Then her own brother sits at the house where the dog lives, says he can't come home, stays for another 40 minutes to play video games, and then asks her why she's so upset? Yes, I'm screaming all of this at him.
Finally the police return to say they spoke with E's neighbors and they said they saw the dog roaming around the same time S was attacked. However, they have had so many negative altercations with E's parents, they don't want to go on record. The police aide (the one that used to be a security guard at Target) says he saw the dog tracks in the snow up to where S would have been when attacked. I guess she denied that her dog could have been responsible, was very rude, and showed no concern at all. She was delivered all the paper work, and the doctor wants to know if the dog will be removed from the premises, and quarantined until proof of immunizations are provided. If she does not cooperate, and if the dog is not licensed it's hauled off to the humane society where it will surely be put to sleep.
I am so insanely mad at this woman. In this case, it feels very hard to 'love my neighbor as myself'. I'm so glad it's all over, for the most part at least. I still have to think about how much time J is grounded for and the best approach for his dumb behavior and insensitivity.
I'll post more about S's visit to the doctor and what I hear back from the police.
February 11, 2005
I periodically receive emails from the Life Issues Institute, Inc.
I received this story, and was very encouraged. For all the strange and sometimes scary procedures that are going on in the medical and research world today, it's wonderful to see an outcome such as this. For me, it transports the topic from an ethical debate of the, 'right and left', and puts a face on it. It's amazing to see people that were once paralyzed, walk. I'm curious as to where you all stand on this issue?
Child with Cerebral Palsy Who Could Not See or Speak Does Both Following Umbilical Cord Stem Cell Therapy
Adam Susser was asphyxiated at birth and as a result was cortically blind (the cortex or cerebral cortex of the brain is affected, causing blindness) with quadriplegic cerebral palsy.
Gary and Judy Susser were married for seven years before Judy became pregnant with twins. Both boys, Brandon and Adam, spent two weeks in neonatal intensive care. They took them home and thought everything was fine. It wasn't. Adam was starved of oxygen and suffered severe brain damage, While basking in the joy new babies bring, Gary and Judy Susser had to come to terms with having a child with special needs.
Recently the Sinclair Broadcast Group produced and aired a 5 minute video news segment concerning the promise and utility of umbilical cord stem cell therapy. The video news segment visually documents the remarkable response of Adam Susser to umbilical cord stem cell therapy. Adam was blind and could not speak prior to receiving human umbilical cord stem cells. He now can both see and speak.
This 5 minute segment is now available online for viewing at no charge. To View the video: Click here scroll down to item # 12, and select "Watch a Stem Cell Video".
February 10, 2005
This is the wife of the youth pastor at our church. She is an amazing violin teacher. Here lil' J learns all the 'body' parts for the violin, and how to handle it carefully. He listens attentively.
He's watching her learn how to relax and stretch, and tries it out.
Here, she tries to show which direction he'll be looking..
He's learning how to hold the violin with his head. I have to take some pictures of what that looks like. He had to walk around the room, with his hands in his pocket while holding the violin with his head only. So many kids get stiff necks and arms, because they aren't taught their head is heavy enough to hold the violin.
Perfect form. What you can't see, is that she's only helping to make sure the violin is in its proper place. He's actually holding it up with his head, while his hands are in his pocket. This was his first lesson and I was very impressed by her methods. Mooch had a different teacher that never showed her how to do this.
February 09, 2005
I just think more women should know they can be sexy, sensual, and satisfied in bed with their husbands, and it's not contary to being motherly, or a 'pious' woman, nor is it less important.
My blog is a personal blog and sometimes I will share personal things. I might share posts about my family, faith, thoughts, and nothing interesting at all. If it offends you that I talk about sex, I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I'm not embarrassed about it.
February 08, 2005
Give me the bad mommy of the month award.
Each year her school has a Mardi Gras party. Tons of beads are passed out, and there's a costume contest, good food, games, prizes, and dancing. This is her last year at French Immersion so she has to go, you know. She invited her best friend, who left FIS last year. Lil' J loves going because it gives him a chance to wear his super hero costumes. S loves going because there's food. J (14.5) used to like going for the games. Now he whines about going anywhere with us, unless his best friend can come. R always stands around looking like he'd rather be at the dentist, I'm always running the game booths.
I have to admit, when I moved here to this area I had no idea what Mardi Gras was about (except a wickedly fun party in New Orleans). I found this link, What is Fat Tuesday?, check it
out for yourself. Holiday Insights: Fat Tuesday looks good too, with more information on the religious side of Fat Tuesday. I didn't grow up going to church really, and since I'm not Catholic or Lutheran I didn't know much about Lent or any of it.
February 07, 2005
What defines a houswife? Homemaker? Are the two the same thing? I am struggling with not just general housework but 'homemaking'. What does it mean to me to be a homemaker? I think sometimes I am more quaified as the sex pot trophy wife, then the actual homemaker part.
But with the craziness of the house lately even the sex is touch and go since my kids will never go to sleep before midnight. Not that they aren't in bed, they just can't seem to fall asleep.
I know we all have our ridiculously-high-always-impossible-to-attain- standards of how we should be as mothers and wives. I am actually going to admit this outloud and put it into print. I suck as a housewife. Yeah, yeah, I am decent at the job most days. But it's true, as of lately, most definitely I could get fired. Especially if I judged myself according to my own ridiculously-high-always-impossible-to-attain standards.
I absolutely love being a mom. Yet quite often I could just go into my room and hide from them. Even my own friends and relatives admit they don't know how I do it. Some of my kids are like having 2 or 3 children in one. Constant action, constant noise, constant dramas, constant reminders.
I love being a wife. I have a great husband. Yet I wouldn't say I "take" care of him. I don't get up when he's getting ready for work to make him breakfast. I don't make his lunches. I do the laundry but I don't put away his clothes. I do my share of cooking and cleaning but I wouldn't say I'm a homemaker. I can't say if I am or not unless I figure out what it really means to be a "homemaker". I don't sew. I don't do crafts. I don't decorate. If cleaning the house without the house looking cleaned and cooking 3 meals out of 7 makes me a homemaker, then maybe I am.
Most of the time I'd say I have great kids. Yet sometimes I feel so fed up, so frustrated and so annoyed in my own house. I finally watched Desparate Housewives yesterday. I thought I'd see what all the buzz was about. I don't relate to any of the characters as a whole. They are rich, skinny and manage to put on nice clothes on a day to day basis. But I did watch an Oprah show, where they had some real life desparate housewives on. I could relate to the concept, not all of the time but enough. Does that make me a bad mother? A bad christian mother?
I have no urges to kill myself, or anyone else. I don't feel I am on the brink of going insane. Yet I've had my crazy woman moments. Mostly I think because I have felt either a bit isolated or trapped. We currently have one car and logistics have prevented me from being the one to drive it most days. I used to have the car by getting up at 6am to drop the husband off at the bus stop. Then I'd come back and get the oldest up for school. I'd drive him at 7:30 am, while getting his sisters and brother ready for school. I'd then come back to get the younest (5) to drop him off by 8am. Then I'd have to make sure Mooch (11) got off to the bus by 8:05a somehow while I'm still dropping off lil' J. Finally I get the last child off by 8:30am. None of that is equivalant to the difficulty of brain surgery, and probably nothing like the schedules of working moms who try to juggle commutes, daycare drop offs, and all day meetings. It's incredibly crazy some days though. I'm not sure I should sit down and breathe for fear something will go wrong.
My husband has ADHD, J has ADHD and depression, Snoo has ADHD with Tourette Syndrome, and Mooch is just perpectually unprepared, sleepy, and grouchy. Lil; J is getting better but normally I am dragging his fanny out of bed and doing everything for him. I'm getting him dressed while he's eating, packing his bag, and so forth. He takes the bus now which picks him up be 7:35am. J is at a new school which starts at 7:10am. Yes, that is right. I have four kids at four different schools, all starting and ending at four different times.
Then there is the homework. Homework should be illegal. I hate homework and I am not even in school. Well, technically I'm not, but with the amount of homework these kids have, and the so-called math curriculum they have now, I might as well be. I feel like I am in school again, only they are doing Martian math. Thank God I have the advantage of the internet to help them look things up. There are library books to get, poster board to buy, finger paint to make, diaramas to make, more checks to write, more papers to sign, more papers to edit, more progress reports to check, and so on, and so forth. These kids have so much homework, they literally have no time for extra curricullar activities. All the kids have AWANA, the girls have Girl Scouts, and that's it. They even have homework on weekends. I'm getting to loathe all of it, and I feel like the school is trying to move in on my time. I should feel like plugging in when the kids come home and have family time but I just want to grab the keys and drive around for hours until they fall asleep and I get to do it all again the next morning. Each of these kids has had a backpack break due to carry so much stuff in them day after day.
I think after all the stress and crazy, crazy stuff that happens around here I am just totally unmotivated to go about my "duties". Part of my problem is that I'm a perfectionist. I know what you're thinking. There's this great program called flylady....
Yeah, I have heard of flylady. She flooded my inbox with so many emails, I spent hours a week deleting them all. The bitch. I did stick to some of the routines so it wasn't a total loss.
I feel like I'm always running but never getting anywhere. It's the same repetition day after day that I never get to the core of what needs to be done to make the house run the way I want it to. Like a birthday cake with trick candles, I keep putting out the "hotspots" and they just come on back all on their own. Or so it seems since nobody in this house can say anything other then, "I don't know". If the universe can play tricks with inanimate objects, then I have a really good alibi for all the clutter. I throw things out and I see them back AGAIN. Cheese and rice!
I've gotten rid of so much stuff and I'm still getting rid things. I think my house is too small for so many people yet I know others live in homes smaller then my own and they make it work. I can't stand to see things out of place. Or to live with disorder yet this house seems to be perpectually in a state of disarray. I know I sound a tad whiny. I just want things to stay the way I want them to stay and they don't. The odd thing is, I'm fairly relaxed about it all. I don't want to turn into a cold and anal robot mom.
I'm not a messy person yet you'd never tell from the look of my house. I'm so not OK with the way this house looks most days. Yet, no matter how much I clean or how often I tell someone to look after their things it doesn't seem to improve. This makes makes be rather grumpy I shall say. I DON'T want to be that bitchy, grumpy "homemaker". I do declare, I need a live in maid. Yeah, I admit, I stink at this and I should be granted a homemakers assistant. Is there such a thing?
February 04, 2005
When kids were talking about the tsunami at school, he was asking about it.
Lil' J: Mom, I am afraid of the ocean because a wave might swallow me.
Mom: Where did you learn that? ((Hugs)) Yes, the ocean can be dangereous but it can be lots of fun too.
Lil J: No, mom, it's bad. I'm scared, because (stutter) lots of people were swimming and got 'keeled' by waves. We prayed for them at school.
Mom: You did? That is wonderful, I didn't even know you were talking about it. (I certainly didn't bring it up, I figured, how would a 4.9 y/o understand this)
Then today he asked more questions.
Lil J': Mom, it's good to die isn't it? Because you get to meet Jesus. You get to go to heaven and see how tall Jesus is. I want to die mom, so I can see Jesus
Mom: No, no, we don't want you to die. (Uh, this is hard for me, I don't want to discourage his understanding, but I don't want to even think about his dying or hear him say that) We want you here. Yes, though, if you asked Jesus into your heart, and you are a Christian you will go be with Jesus.
Lil J: I'm a Christian, right mom? I asked Jesus into my heart.
Mom: Yes, you are!
Lil J': If I died, would you cry?
Mom: I would never stop crying Lil' J, let's not talk about that.
Lil J': (Stuttering) Would you cry a whole lot mom?
Mom: I would never stop crying, but I know you'd be with Jesus, and I'd see you again. Let's not talk about that. I am going to see you become an old, old man, and watch your kids grow up.
Lil J: Ewww, I don't want to be an old man. I'm going to live wif you foreber and eber.
Wow, I was not prepared for that. I was not prepared for his knowledge of the tsunami. I was not prepared for the depth of his spiritual faith and wisdom. And I was not prepared to even think about, let alone answer his what if question.
Once I found a black sock behind the dryer. That's an easy given. I even found one in lil J's toybox. Ok, that's two. Where are the other 20?
I was thinking how embarrassed they might be if they had to take their shoes off in front of people. Not just because their feet stink either. (Oh my goodnits, J's whole room smells like stinky feet/wet dog). I was thinking though, there has to be another child with mismatched socks not due to color blindness.
Richard is always saying he never has any socks. I wash them. Where are they going? Is there a burmuda triangle for socks? Maybe I have evil sock thieving trolls that sneak off with them. Are the mice making fluffy pillow beds? Ah ha! It's the sock monkeys. Yes, that has to be it. They end up in the hands of people who actually want a lone sock. I never thought people actually made sock monkeys here is the proof. I guess if you can sew, which I can't, you can stop waiting for the other sock to show up, and make your own sock monkey. Tchah, I'd rather just cough up more money, and get some new ones. I just pretend I am good at crafts.
I want our socks back!! Grrr. Where does the other sock go? Do you have a theory for me? I'm running out of ideas.
February 03, 2005
Oh, and it looks like some whack job has thought up a way to have mice give birth to human babies. How do you figure? Sounds like a Stewart Little sequel gone very wrong.
I started getting my overly worrying mommy thoughts about how I'd feel so terrible if God forbid something should happen to her, and we had this fight just a month before. Richard told her she was a bad daughter, and being a bad student. I'm sure he meant to say sometimes she's behaving like a bad daugther, it's not always us but that made me cringe. Oh vey, I need to get a grip. Nothing is going to happen to her, she's going to have great fun! I know it will all work out, I just want to be prepared. I'd like to start getting her stuff together and ready.
I had some Milwaukee post cards only to discover that S at one point must have tried to write, Happy Valentines Day, on it. Or in her case, probably Happy Valentimes Day. So we gave her a little beginners cross stitch kit that has directions in french and english, a tiny sheer pink drawstring bag with a earring/necklace/bracelet set. Also, a pack of glow in the dark star stickers, a colored pen, and pictures of the kids. I would have liked to have copied more pictures but oh well. The bigger gifts go by plane. I don't know anything about the family yet so I don't want to buy t-shirts and stuff and have them be the wrong size.
Also, M thinks she may not be getting a student to stay with us in April. If so, I will be livid since we waited until this year to host a family. The students that go to france are suppose to get first pick on hosting a student. Usually, it's the child they stayed with, if they are coming over. Well, I guess other kids are getting slips and she is not. I have been wondering why 3 times now, I keep seeing the notices about hosting students, yet haven't heard anything. I sent the first one out, then the second, with a note, just in case. Now there's a 3rd one stating they still need placement for 5 boys. M has been just as excited at the idea of her student coming to stay with us, as she has about going over there. If they don't place a student with us, she is going to be crushed and I will be very upset. One of her friends hosted an exchange student last year, and she's not even going to France this year, why should she get to host another student?
Anyways, I'm waiting for the principal to call me back and clear some stuff up. I sent an email to one of the moms that organizes this stuff and I haven't heard anything back yet. I will wait til later then I'll start pestering. :o)
February 01, 2005
Shampoo -----At the moment, Dove
Moisturizer -- Neutrogena Sesame Oil for body, Oil of Olay Total effects for face and eyes
Perfume ----- Beautiful & Bath & Body stuff
Razor -------- whatever my husband has, I just keep using his
Toothpaste-- Cinnamon Crest
Electronics----I don't have any really- I do have an unactivated Sprint cellphone. We have a Gamecube, Xbox, and two Dvd players. Does that count as electronics?
Computer --- A Hybrid. We have like 4 computers & a laptop, all of which are networked
Television ----A 36 inch Samung & a 20 inch RCA
Stereo -- ----- I don't have one at the moment. I have a Sony CD boombox
Sheets --------Egyptian Cotton
Coffee-maker -Black & Stainless Steel Cuisinart
Car -----------Windstar Minivan
Stationery -- --Am I suppose to have stationary?
Bottled water -Ice Mountain Delivery
Coffee -------- Ew, I drink chai tea, green tea, and hot cocoa
Alchol---------I don't drink much, but I'll take a Zima or Mike's hard lemonade now & then
Juice----------OJ or OJ mixed with Cranberry. Pom Cherry & Pomegranite Juice is also yummy
Jeans ---------Levi's, LEI, Calvin Kleins- Whatever fits
T-shirt ------- Al kinds. Wearing an Old Navy one now
Briefcase ----- What do I need this for?
Sneakers ------Do people still call them sneakers? I have skechers on at the moment I also wear New Balance
Watch ---------I don't own one (Maybe my friend Kathy will lend me her rolex? ;o)
My Grandma Millie's in Leota outside of Harrison
Balboa Park, CA- this is where my parents met and I practically grew up here. I took my kids there all the time too
Forest Falls, Ca & Forest Home- Lots of good memories and it's just breathtaking
Holy Hill, Wisconsin- Gorgeous in Autumn
Kettle Moraine Forest- Both the Northern & Southern Part -So beautiful
Menomonee Park- This park has it all.
Purses, handbags, digital cameras, Bath and Body, candles, lip gloss, mocha frappuchinos, and leather boots.