May 25, 2005

Sometimes I hide...

...from things that I know I shouldn't think or feel. Things I don't want to admit outloud. Things I don't want to remember. Things I don't understand.

I'm always watching. Listening. Remembering. Processing. Yet, I am often so quiet in 'real' life. When I was a girl, they'd ask if I ever talked. I did, just not with words. Sometimes they'd joke, well, if she trusts you, she'll talk, talk, and talk. IF.

There's things I have to say, and sometimes I'll say them. Even with this blog, I'll take my turn standing on the soapbox. I'll share my life, my opinions, my muses, or nothing worthy at all. Even so, I know I'm still holding back. I hate that, but it's true. Why do I? Fear? Indifference?

But I don't want this to be about any one thing. It's not just about my faith, my kids, my family, my thoughts. What is it then? I'm not sure. Sometimes though, when I'm publishing a post, I'll hear a little whisper in my soul.... "say it". Say it outloud. There's so much hidden, so much unsaid, so much I'd rather forget. What would I say?

File this post, under "weird moods".