Neutral?

Neutral couch?

Uh, no. We're looking for some new-to-us couches for our livingroom until we buy a new house next year. Nothing fancy. Something sturdy. And it must not be harboring Teenage Mutant Ninja Roaches.

I'm even willing to slip cover.

Now, I don't know how you define 'neutral' but this is anything but neutral in my book. It's about as neutral as a Hawaiian shirt.

Pillows will accompany the set. Great neutral pattern and can be decorated a variety of ways. Recliner in good working condition.

Let's look at this from a few perspectives. First off, I'm not denying this in fact, might be in "great condition". However, I just don't see how the hell this could ever be neutral? How many ways can you decorate late 80's or early 90's pastel southwestern style furniture? The word "variety" is actually used here. Huh? And puhleaze, keep the dusty pink pillows. My great aunt Rose might think I've stolen them from her doll room.

Oh, and since I'm being honest, that blue carpet is giving me a headache.

P.S if you own and love pastel southwestern "neutral" furniture, I like you just the same.

Happy Birthday Baby

Happy 11th Birthday Mimi. You're one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life and for sure the best of 1993!

The world is yours. Hey girl, you are already on your way to France! In your short years you will have already traveled further then I have and you're surely much braver then I.

What can I say to describe you? Totally and utterly adorable. Everyone can see it. You make the girls jealous, the boys follow you, you elicit smiles, worries, and exaserbation all at the same time. In short, you make people feel.

Funny. Gorgeous. Dramatic. Smart. Naive. Insightful. Strong. Delicate.

Pure Love.

Thre are so many words to describe you monkey girl, but forgetable will never be one of them. You have a life and intensity that draws others like the moth to the flame, a butterfly to the wildflower. And you are mine! Why God chose me to be your mom, or a mother at all, is inconceivable. So who is the lucky girl here? Happy 11th teen day, girl. Now, go clean your room.

"Lo, Children are a heritage of the Lord;and the fruit of the womb is his reward."-Psalm 127:4

Big Oopsie

Aw, shucks, honey, where's the neck massager?

Some naughty little fun-haver was disappointed on Monday night. I have four words for traveling sex toy enthusiasts.

Take-out-the-batteries

Ever think of that?

I've heard stories like this before. I'm never sure if they are real because it's hard to imagine anyone that dense actually knows how to operate such a "massager". I think we've all heard of enough people embarrassed by buzzing luggage. Nobody ever learns?

If you're into toys, own them/play with them/travel with them, don't you think you should know how to take the batteries out? Yeah, duh. Next time you time travel, try adding this to the list:

• Remove Batteries from Magical Neck Wand
  

Either that or ditch it somewhere better then the trash can. Like the little old lady's purse next to you.

Buzzing Sex Toy Causes Airport Shut Down

POSTED: 9:36 am EDT October 5, 2004

BRISBANE, Australia -- The buzz in Brisbane wasn't a bomb -- but a
vibrator.

An Australian airport was shut down for almost an hour Monday, when
someone reported a strange humming noise coming from a garbage can.
Cafeteria manager Lynne Bryant said it was "rather disconcerting
when the rubbish bin started humming furiously."

Police ordered an evacuation while they investigated.

After about 45 minutes the security alert was canceled. It turned
out that someone had tossed out an adult sex toy.