Let Me Count the Ways

Lately I've been thinking about how great my husband is. Sure, he can't balance a checkbook to save his life (I don't even think he uses one), he leaves tiny scruffy black hairs in the sink, fingernail clippings on the counter, holes in his underwear, he drinks from the cartons, he would rather have a vasectomy then do the dishes, he laughs at me when I'm mad, he aquires many late fees, he's extremely forgetful, he's easily moody, he won't clean the catbox even though he wanted more cats, he mocks Oprah, he drives around on empty in our new van, he thinks almost everyone is lying until proven otherwise, he throws his dirty laundry on the stairs, he rarely likes going places, he swears and calls names like a little boy when he's mad, he doesn't understand that every trip to the store should produce toilet paper, napkins, and paper towels, and he can't dance.

I'm sure there are other things, but I'm being gracious.

Then I had to think of all the ways he's superfragalistic. How do I love him? Let me count the ways.

1. I love that he's known me since I was 15 and he stills gets goosebumps when I touch him.
2. I love that he's witnessed a slimy, crying, tiny human body come out of my crotch, yet he's still super turned on by me.
3. I love that he can buy my tampons without batting one of his very long and beautiful eyelashes
4. I love that he's gone to the store to buy me post baby diapers pads, just to go back again when I informed him they were the wrong kind, yet still he envisions me as a goddess in a thong.
5. I love that he lets me sleep in on Saturdays, even though he's the one that got up early for work all week long.
6. I love that he'll go to the store at midnight, in the freezing cold, if my heart desires something.
7. I love that he'll make me a fantabulous breakfast on the weekend, even if he's secretly bitching that I should be the one to make him breakfast.
8. I love that he reads to my five year old almost every night and tucks him into bed.
9. I love that he watches chick flicks without complaining, in fact, on his own he's seen When Harry Met Sally more times then is normal for anyone.
10. I love that he'll do laundry, even if my clothes don't get put away and he shrinks and bleaches Gymboree clothes.
11. I love that he brings me home chocolate even when I tell him no because my ass is too big.
12. I love that he's a godly man that really truly does care about people.
13. I love that he desires to see curves on my body, especially near my hips.
14. I love that he'll cook for me on the weekends, even if it wasn't his own idea and I hardly cooked meals during the week.
15. I love that he tolerates the light as I read at night, even if only for awhile at least.
16. I love that he'll make me (Ms. Geograpically challenged) directions if I'm going somewhere without him.
17. I love that he calls me from work just to hear the sound of my voice.
18. I love that he knows most of my dirty little secrets and still acts like I'm mysterious.
19. I love that he's seen me practically shart myself during pregnancy, or pass some other nasty alien like substance yet he only jokes about it loudly every three years.
20. I love that he loves babies.
21. I love that he's a strong advocate for breastfeeding and attachment parenting, even if that means he's been kicked in the head at night by a nursing monkey baby performing gymnastics when he's had to work at 6am.
22. I love that he smiles and says ,"I love you", when the kids and I are acting like idiots.
23. I love that he puts up with my endlessly childish pranks and behaviors.
24. I love that he brings me home butterfly patches and embellishments for my clothes, just because he knows I love butterflies.
25. I love that he'll go to Target for crapper supplies and bring me back a Strawberry Shortcake toy because he knew I never got one as a little girl.
26. I love that he buys me gorgeous flowers and jewelry even when the money could be used elsewhere and I'm too frugal and cheap to treat myself.
27. I love that he's accepted my feeding him side dishes for dinner.
28. I love that he'll let me check out library books under his card and gives in to his two book rule, because I have a fine of $17.50 on my own card.
29. I love that he works hard for me and our family, even if sometimes my homemaking seems more like my sitting around all day, which anyone with kids like mine knows isn't possible.
30. I love that he does most of the grocery shopping, a chore that I almost loathe as much as mopping the floor.
31. I love that he's notoriously known for breaking our "no gift" rule at Christmas time and surprises me with even the smallest, yet intensely sweet gifts.
32. I love that he's romantic and saves cards, letters, stubs, and has even put messages in the paper for me.
33. I love that he holds me when I cry letting me use his sleeve as a tissue or when I share my fears.
34. I love that he uses vacation time so we can go to Michigan to see my grandma, who will then undoubtedly share the same stories he's heard a million times, yet he never lets on otherwise.
35. I love that he'll go out of his way to do almost anything for me, even if I'm a bitch.
36. I love that he kisses me when he leaves for work, even if I'm so sound asleep I wouldn't notice.
37. I love that he lets me win when we play yahoo pool.
38. I love that he's almost always supportive of my waxing and waning interests.
39. I love that he always brags about me to his co-workers, even if I know I probably don't always deserve such adoration.
40. I love that he'll sit and stay at the table with me when I eat, even if I that means staying 30 minutes after he's done.
41. I love that he puts up with my teasing with good sportsmanship.
42. I love that he can sew and crochet, even if he's never made me one damn coaster or curtain. It's still sexy.
43. I love that he'll come upstairs when I'm in the shower, just to wash my back. I never let on that I know his true motivation is to see me soapy wet and naked.
44. I love that he lets me crack his toes. Hey, it's not that odd.
45. I love that he grew his hair back for me, even though he loves it shaved.
46. I love that he's usually gracious on the days that I rattle off a million complaints about the day or the kids before he's even got in the door, then he offers to go get me chocolate while I take a shower.
47. I love that he looks incredibly sexy in black turtleneck sweaters.
48. I love that he wants to be with me so much that he drove all night (eight hours ) to Michigan after he worked all day in Milwaukee, just to make it for me 29th birthday. Since it was a surprise we had the doors locked and he had to sleep the rest of the night and wee hours of the morning in the car. That's true wub.
49. I love that he makes me feel safe.
50. I love that my kiss can make almost all his worries and grumpiness go away.