September 27, 2004

My Internet Dependency

Sattelite dish problems reveal my internet dependency.

I have a rant. We broke down and got dish network through SBC. Ugh. First off, our landlords wanted a $150 refundable deposit. Then we had to pay an extra $30 so they could stick a pole in the ground since we're not allowed to have it on the roof. The guy asks for a bowl of water, apparently to soften the ground up. He just leaves it there when he's done. It's real tupperware.

Um, hello mister, you're not my husband or my child.

Then when he's here he does the worst possible thing. I'm not just talking about his inability to tell me what he's doing, why he's doing it, how to use the flippin' thing, or ask me where I want the box. Get this, are you ready? He actually disconnects my DSL and leaves me without the internet.

I just so happened to be walking my mother through the wonderful joys of the world wide web at that moment. She was asking me how the moose worked. This is true. That's my mother, so I smile and say, "I love you" everytime she asks me a dumb question.

He doesn't let me know he's going to disconnect it nor does he ask me if I might be doing something important. He could see that I was at the computer after all. When my mom goes to ask him why we don't have an internet connection, the guy nonchalently points to the phone line he pulled out. Then he says he fixed it. Last time I checked, when you say you've fixed something, that actually implies that it works.

He mumbles something about a splitter. Then tries to leave. He's just going to leave. Even though the DSL he fixed is still not working. What a doofus.

I follow him out to the car, and by this point I think he's starting to get it. He might have a crazy internet addict on his case. I admit it, sometimes I can be. I try to keep it in check. Really, I do. We have one car at the moment, I have an excuse.

However, my morning internet fix is like another gals cup of morning coffee. I figured after I vacuumed all of the upstairs at 6:30am that I deserved to escape the mundane repetition of housework for awhile. So anyways, the guy digs around in the van, and finds me a splitter. With some walk through from The Husband via phone I'm off and running. It's a whimpy connetion at best. It's like trying to water the grass with a pinched hose. It's taking forever to open a page.

Basically I need to have a tupperware bowl ruined and pay for DSL so I can remember what dial up was like. Now, I know why I used to scream at the computer screen. I wasn't just an angry woman afterall.

Turns out the dude messed with a router wire. What nerve. I still can't believe how he just messed around our computers. Those of you who have fretted over a lost connection know exactly what I am talking about.

There's only so much housework and domesticity that a girl can take before she needs to dial. I already have vacuumed like three times since I bought the new vaccum last night.

I do have TV now though. So what am I complaining about? If taking my internet away wasn't bad enough, when I watch TV about every 7 minutes it freezes. It looks like I've pressed pause only when it comes back, I've missed it all. This was all the The Husbands idea. Cause he likes to pay a lot of money for things that don't work?

Then I think I'm going to outsmart this stupid system by re-setting, clearing, or changing the channel. But no, I just make it worse, and I stare at a grey screen until it decides to work again. It's very A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G. Sort of as annoying as reading a word spelled out letter by letter. I did NOT throw anything at the TV this time though. I'm better then that.

I'm currently washing away my frustration with a bowl of mashed potatoes with corn. Good thing
I'm not afraid of carbs. Or the treadmill. In the scheme of things, it's just nothing, but it shows a less then industrious side of myself.