June 20, 2005

Comparing two prayers

Dear God, so far today, I've done all right. I haven't gossiped, and I haven't lost my temper.

I haven't been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I'm really glad of that!

But in a few minutes, God, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on, I'm probably going to need a lot of help.

Thank you! Amen.

(got this in beliefnet email, but I'm pretty sure it was written with me in mind. :o)

Oh, how I wish to be able to put "Metamorphosis Complete" in my title bar. But alas, I'm humbled before God as I see my own reactions to my current trials. I know I could go postal at any moment if it weren't for the Holy Spirit working within me. I know I'd be cussing if it weren't for that restraint. (and I have) I know every good thing in me is not of my own accord. I'm so glad for my friends, even if they don't know fully what I'm going through. Thank you.

Now my prayer:

I feel hopeless and broken before you Lord
Oh how I want to be more like you
But there's an innner struggle within me now
I'm fighting within myself
I want to be refined like silver
I want to love with your fullness
I want to speak with your kind compassion
But I'm in the way

Please create in me a new heart
A renewed mind
So I can be the woman, wife, & mother you created me to be
Oh, how I want my legacy to be different then that of my mother
Of her mother

I do want to walk and not faint
but I just seem to stumble

I want to be worthy to be called your daughter
I feel so small and yet so big
To stand before you & know you hear my words
My plea
See my tears
Love me unconditonally
How can this be?
Knowing all I've done & all I will do

How can you, my God & Savior, being the creator of this very universe
call me your daughter?

Even in my anger, my fear, I possess so much amazement at this.

I'm here Lord, speak to me
I want to listen
Open my heart & my eyes to you
Work with me, guide me, instruct me, use me
I trust you (Proverbs 3:5,6)